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Friday, April 25, 2008

Ask Aunty Joan: Woman In Love

Dear Aunty Joan,

I love your blog very much, I have never missed a single article since you started it. I am so happy that you have decided to start this wonderful column to help your readers overcome their relationship crises and I am sure you will help a lot of people.

I have a very good friend who has a big problem and whom I will call Anne for purposes of concealing her identity. I can tell you Aunty Joan, Anne was the most responsible (it was almost sickening), level headed girl you could ever hope to meet. The problem is that Anne has fallen in love with this guy almost 20 years her senior whom she met on the World Wide Web not more than a month ago and she is so obsessed with the guy she can’t think of nothing else! Their love seems genuine, she even claims that the guy is her soulmate and I have to confess am a little jealous of them, however the pace at which things have gone is a bit too fast and I am worried for her.

Would you believe it Aunty Joan, that they are even making plans of having a future together? Someone she hasn't even seen in person? I think she has gone over the top a little especially since she did not even believe in online relationships two months ago and thought people who engaged in such things were totally insane.

I honestly I don’t know what has gotten into my friend but please tell me how I can advise her, I think she has gone crazy! I don’t want her to be crashed when things go sour. Do you honestly believe such things can happen and more so over the internet? Do you believe in soulmates?

I will be waiting for your answer,

Anne's Friend.

Thank you for your question, Anne’s friend.

Now this friend of yours, Anne as you call her, seems to have a serious problem in her hands.

You are right that in many ways this is very crazy. One needs to be very careful about Internet relationships. As I am sure you know, people have been conned before and there are all sorts of dangers associated with these kinds of relationships. Men have even posed as women and vice versa.

It may also seem to have gone on for a very short time. Barely a month you say. However here we need to consider the fact that online relationships develop much faster and what will take months in the real world can take days online.

Despite the age difference the two are in serious love or so it seems. Is there any money involved? If she does NOT love him for his money and what he can do for her, then there may be something very serious going on here. Here in Udaku recently we carried a story about a woman who found love with a 25 year old man when she was 42. The truth is that it happens all the time. Love does not really choose or care. That is a fact. At least true love doesn’t. But be warned true love is rare and very hard to come by.

Still I see a lot of obstacles in this relationship. For example are either of them the kind of people who can easily be influenced by others. I am talking here about their friends. What will the man’s friends think of him moving around with such a young girl. And what about the girl, what will her friends think of her, especially if the man is wealthy?

What I suspect is that both are well aware of these facts and have chosen to ignore them.

What if this was true love? Who am I to advice her to abandon possible happiness and marital joy and bliss beyond her wildest dreams?

Bottom line here is very simple. You have to focus on the most important thing, which is are the two in love? Is it genuine love ama mchezo? The answer to those questions should drive the decision here. If it is not love, then she had better find somebody her own age. However if it is true love, nothing can keep them apart, not even you as a well intentioned friend.

Send in your questions to me (Auntie Joan) udakudaily at hotmail dot com.


Anonymous said...

I am glad to see that you did not start serializing the Distantlover as announced yesterday. Leave Marianne Briner and Jeff Koinange alone. As CNN declared in an offical statement: "What really happened between them in that London hotelroom, is a matter between these two and should not become a matter of public interest."

So I beg you, don't enter into the venture to expose their more than crazy relationship here in this forum.

Even if it would reduce your chances to reach a new 'hit'-record, don't do it.

Anonymous said...

esh! what is this? stick to what you do best. more udaku and less counselling here please!

Anonymous said...



Anonymous said...




Anonymous said...

I repeat my plea - after having read the Kuimekucha blog - I herewith ask you to stop the distantlover-issue. Jeff Koinange does not deserive this publicity about his own sexual failures-

Anonymous said...


you mean you are encouraging this? yaani people can fall in love online for real? isnt that a little odd?

and isnt that like falling in love with your computer screen or something? it actually sounds a little loco to me. aiii....and the girl is even thinking of marrying the man? how does someone fall in love online? maybe u shud have advised her to see a psychiatrist.

where did that girl find the 'love of her life'? id like to know. enyewe, if such things happen maybe i better start looking for someone online myself i do spend a lot of time on the internet after all!!

Anonymous said...

hahahaha anonymous 1.34!! wewe ni mkali!! u dont want people's problems to be solved? enyewe hata me i love udaku! i wont lie.

but at least i have learnt there's love on the net! i just hope that, that girl is not disappointed.

stat boy said...

@ mrembo,

since my induction to udaku daily, i always look forward to reading something that will help me realize my s&%t ain't nothing compared to what others may have going on. this idea of trying to resolve others' problems does not fall under the jurisdiction nor definition of udaku!

Wanjiku Unlimited said...

Mrembo there is a lot of love on the net. Thousands have met online, developed something real strong and even married. You have a lot of power in your keyboard.

If Anne has found her soul mate through whichever means, so be it. Go for it Anne. All the best.

Wanjiku Unlimited said...

Dear Auntie Joan,

I have a problem. not a relationship problem though. Actually it's a question.

One do we have to do the word verification before posting comments? I know it's purpose is to ensure that only human beings post comments but it's a bit boring you know. Please take it out. If there're problems you can always bring it back.

Two the comments window. Can you arrange for it to open on a separate page?

Now let me verify these slanted words. hehehehehe.

Anonymous said...

hey yea right love is in the net so let anne go for it but do her calculations properly beore settling in the guy can turn out to b a monster for all she knows.

Anonymous said...

hey yea right love is in the net so let anne go for it but do her calculations properly beore settling in the guy can turn out to b a monster for all she knows.

Anonymous said...

If anyone ones distant lovers - you can get it directly from Marianne. She is so generous. Or write to me and I will send you my copy. It makes interesting reading.

Anonymous said...

hi...................u r on right or wrong u decide but u r in love u r right