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Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Angry husband allows wife to keep boyfriend

Life was never easy for Margaret when she was growing up. After completing her forth form exams, she left her village for the City with just a small paper bag of clothes to her name and was employed as a house help. She was always a bright girl but her parents could not afford to educate her any further. She got a job in a rich family and had a servant’s quarters all to herself. She was a very faithful worker and the whole family liked and supported her. Her employer’s husband was a very straight family man and did not try to play any games with her. But someone else did.

The owner of the neighboring house, a man in his 50s was eyeing her longingly every time she stepped out of the house on her errands or whenever he visited her employer. They soon got talking and after some time he convinced her to go for a date with him in town on her day off. They had passionate sex on the very first date and the guy gave her 2,000 bob as a gift. She could not believe it. Kshs.2000/-?! For just a few hours?! That was not even what she earned in a month! She and her new found friend continued having weekly sex on her day off and she made more and more money. She was able to save some money and buy herself lotions, perfumes, nice clothes and other nice things like other women she knew. That’s when the idea started growing on her. She was not going to wait around for a meager 1,500/- bob a month when she could make much more with her body. She quit employment and became a full time call girl.

Soon Nairobi was not appealing enough for her any more and she moved to Mombasa. Margaret by the way was a very striking beauty with a figure to die for and it did not take her long to catch the eye of an old Mzungu who was in the country for a one month tour. Mzungu is a hot catch for any call girl and even though he weighed over 150Kgs, she readily accepted to offer her services to him. He was very pleased with what she did to him and for the very first night, he paid her over Kshs.10,000/! Margaret was hooked. And so was the mzungu. For her the money was good and for him the sex was good. You see being so overweight, he could not do much in bed and many women kept off him. But Margaret was different. She went out of her way to pleasure him. She took the time to be creative and work around the guy’s weight – something other call girls had never bothered to do for him. He flew back home at the end of his tour and came back after a short time to be with her.

The mzungu was a very rich divorced pensioner and his kids were all grown up and leading their own lives. As soon as he got back, he bought a palatial house in the leafy suburbs of town and put it in her name. Together they furnished it lavishly with mostly imported stuff and moved in together. He also maintained his home in Switzerland so they’d spend time in whichever house they wanted whenever they wanted. Having been forced into prostitution by circumstances and not out of free will, she did not find it difficult to stop it and dedicate herself to him. After all now she had more money than she ever imagined having, a dream house and a dream car – a dream life in short. She even began to fall in love with him.

But it was not all bliss. She was doing her best to satisfy him sexually but due to his weight limitations, he could not give her much. Sex for them was strictly Margaret on top. She craved some more movement. She tried using sex toys but it was not the same. She needed a man in the flesh. One night when she was out dancing alone, the 25 year old club DJ caught her drooling over him. Actually she was drooling over all the good looking men but more so the DJ. She bought him a few drinks and he immediately got the message without having to be told much. As much as she wanted a man there and then, he was working for the night and they arranged to meet the next day which was on a Sunday. She picked him from his small house and drove him to an exclusive well kept secret location out of town.

There were no preliminaries. No drinks, no small talk, nothing. As soon as they were in the hotel room it was action right away. They undressed like their clothes were on fire. Or full of crawling insects. Driven by pure lust and pent up sexual energies, they had the most passionate sex Margaret had had in a long time. And it was like that every other Sunday after that. The sex was so good that they found themselves meeting more and more until it became a habit. Every Sunday Margaret would make some excuses to her mzungu and she’d go and meet the DJ. They even stopped going out of town and she’d just go to his place. Whenever the mzungu was away in his country and he left her here, she’d spend all the time at the DJ’s house or invite him to hers.

Then the unthinkable happened. Margaret fell pregnant.

Read Part 2 of this story

A Prostitute's Funeral

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Mombasa businessman faces the wrath of a stripper

40 year old John had a lot going for him. He had hit it big in the business world and was a well known tycoon around town. He had a stunning wife and three equally beautiful children. He seemed to have it all. He was a family man and other than the occasional drink in the evening with friends, he was mostly home with his family.

One day he left home for a few beers at the neighborhood joint. A few bottles down the line some friends joined him and convinced him to go thrill seeking at a club frequented by high end call girls. After watching all the stripping and lap dancing, and with a little prodding from his friends who seemed at home in these surroundings, he decided to get adventurous for just that night. When Jecinta, one of the strippers approached him at around midnight, he was more than ready for her. He booked her for the rest of the night and the two drove in his car to her place not very far from the club.

He liked what he got from Jecinta that night and was actually planning to give her a handsome tip on top of what they had negotiated the night before. He was in for a rude shock when he opened his wallet only to realize he had only Kshs.400/- left. Before he left the club he was sure that was 4,000/ he saw in the dimly lit club. He tried to do the sums of how he spent all the money he had carried but everything about the night was a blur. Could he have been robbed by none other than Jecinta? Or had he dropped some notes in his drunken state the previous night? Nothing was clear. Methinks he confused 100/- shilling notes for 1,000/-.

He tried to explain the situation to Jecinta but she could not buy his story. How could he not have money? He was a well known tycoon around town. He was driving the latest fuel guzzler – the only one of its kind in town. She had felt very lucky the previous night when she landed this catch. Then he wakes up in the morning to say he did not have cash?! She had seen enough of these guys who started giving excuses after a whole night’s romp and she could here none of it.

John tried to call his close friend to come and bail him out but being Sunday morning, the friend was probably still asleep or awake with a hangover from hell. His phone was off. He tried to plead with Jecinta to allow him to go to the nearest ATM and get the money for her but she insisted that if that was the case then she’d have to go with him. But mind you it was already morning and there is no way John was going to be seen driving into town with Jecinta. They argued for close to an hour. By this time Jecinta had worked herself into a state, screaming and throwing things around and attracting the attention of the neighbors in the process.

What happened next shocked poor John to the core. He knew Jecinta was mad at him but he was completely unprepared for her next action. This being the first time he had used the services of a call girl, he had only heard horror stories from friends about hell having no fury than a call girl scorned. Jecinta collected all his belongings, phone, shoes, spectacles, car keys, wallet and all his clothes and soaked them in a bucket of water. All this time she was screaming obscenities at him and had managed to wake up all the neighbors.

In the melee he managed to fish out his car keys at least from the water and hold tightly onto them. They were the only ticket from the mess he was in. He grabbed the nearest towel but she took that too and added it to the bucket with water. Everything he grabbed to cover himself Jecinta grabbed back and added to the bucket. With the neighbors now gathering along the corridors wondering what was the matter, she opened the door and asked him to leave. Unable to get hold of even his wet boxers, John bolted out clad only in the one thing he could find after she had soaked all the visible towels and bed sheets. A table cloth. Jecinta was hot on his heels trying to snatch that too! Luckily he managed to get to his car and drive off before she could reach him.

As soon as he was safely out of the mad woman’s way he had to face his next predicament. He could not go home. Or anywhere else for that matter. His friends were mostly married and he could not go to them either. And definitely not to his relatives. The only bachelor he could go to for help lived more than 10 kilometers from town. But he had no choice. He drove all the way to that friend’s gate and honked like mad. His friend gave him some clothes to wear and in a few minutes, poor John was on his way home to face the wife. Sunday morning past 10.oo o’clock and in strange undersize clothes.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Woman “Pays” For Stealing Scratch Cards

Corruption is a vice that is in the very fabric of the Kenyan society and Kenyan who find themselves in a position of responsibility will tend to think of it as good fortune and their turn “to eat,” just like our politicians do.

This is exactly what Rita did but with rather disastrous consequences.

Rita was married with 2 children and lived in a well known Nairobi estate (name with-held). She could not believe her luck when she landed a job distributing cell phone scratch cards. She hurriedly shut down her small mboga kiosk in the estate which was bringing her more headaches than income to concentrate on the lucrative new job. And things got even better. Apart from a basic salary of Kshs 10,000 she discovered that she was also to get a commission if she hit her targets for scratch cards sold. It was easy because there were already established clients and she had to do was persuade each client to take a little more than usual and she would surpass her target by far. Her total take home package amounted to about Kshs 30,000 per month which is not much money in Kenya these days but Rita had never handled such money in her entire life time.

But things got even better. About a week into the job, a fellow sales lady introduced her to a certain “deal” that was going down in the place. They would distribute stolen scratch cards and get a hefty commission. So apart from her salary, Rita now had cash that was coming in daily. The racket was really an elaborate scheme where she stole from her own employer.

Things could not have been better for Rita and her lifestyle changed suddenly and very dramatically. The cold and strictly vegetarian household was now warm with meat being eaten every day. Nobody was suspicious that there might be anything wrong. After all everybody knew that Rita “alipata job fit sana.” The house that never used to see visitors now suddenly had too many of them. Many new-found friends came for small “soft loans” and word quickly spread that whatever time of the month it was, you would never miss cash at Rita’s house.

But as they say, thieves get caught on their 40th day. Now the fortieth day may take 20 years to come, but it will surely arrive some day. Sadly Rita’s 40th day arrived less than 6 months into the job. As usual the thieves got caught simply because of their greed. The small amounts that they had started off stealing were not easy to detect because of the large volumes of cell phone scratch cards that were being sold. But the people in the racket got greedy and decided that if they had gotten away with the small amounts, there was no reason why they could not get away with larger amounts.

Rita’s overall boss at the office was a man called Omondi. He was overweight and was always sweating. Mr Omondi may have been overweight, sweaty and maybe didn’t smell too good, but he was very intelligent. He called Rita into his office one day and explained to her that he had already unearthed their schemes of theft and was going to call in the police. Rita was too frightened to even move. Omondi picked up the land line on his desk and started dialing. Rita quickly recovered and is said to have quickly gone down on her knees begging him. Omondi just continued dialing.

“Hello is that Central police station?”

By this time Rita was tagging at his shirt sleeves and already in a cold sweat.

Omondi slowly put down the telephone receiver and gave his conditions for the “forgiveness” Rita was cornered and she knew it. The conditions included her giving full information to Omondi on how exactly the racket was carried out and who was involved. The other condition to her horror but not surprise was paying her boss with a sexual favor, right there and then in the office.

Rita tried to think of a way out but there was none. The smiling Mr Omondi wanted the sexual favour before anything else. He lifted the phone and told his secretary to hold all calls as he did not want to be interrupted. He carefully locked the door as Rita looked on feeling like a trapped bird. She took her position on the desk. It seemed to last forever but finally it was over. He reached inside his desk and handed her toilet roll to wipe herself.

Although Rita felt defiled and very dirty, her ordeal was far from being over. She gave all the details of her partners in crime who were promptly picked up by the police and locked up in cells. She wrote a statement at the police station and was notified of the date she needed to appear in court to give evidence against her former colleagues.

For a week she held on to the belief that things had not turned out so badly since she had managed to retain her job. If she had not caught some crazy disease from the sex with Mr Omondi, she would be okay, she kept telling herself. But a nasty surprise awaited her at the end of the week.

Mr Omondi called her into his office again and fired her. But not before having sex with her one more time.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Ask Aunty Joan: Woman In Love

Dear Aunty Joan,

I love your blog very much, I have never missed a single article since you started it. I am so happy that you have decided to start this wonderful column to help your readers overcome their relationship crises and I am sure you will help a lot of people.

I have a very good friend who has a big problem and whom I will call Anne for purposes of concealing her identity. I can tell you Aunty Joan, Anne was the most responsible (it was almost sickening), level headed girl you could ever hope to meet. The problem is that Anne has fallen in love with this guy almost 20 years her senior whom she met on the World Wide Web not more than a month ago and she is so obsessed with the guy she can’t think of nothing else! Their love seems genuine, she even claims that the guy is her soulmate and I have to confess am a little jealous of them, however the pace at which things have gone is a bit too fast and I am worried for her.

Would you believe it Aunty Joan, that they are even making plans of having a future together? Someone she hasn't even seen in person? I think she has gone over the top a little especially since she did not even believe in online relationships two months ago and thought people who engaged in such things were totally insane.

I honestly I don’t know what has gotten into my friend but please tell me how I can advise her, I think she has gone crazy! I don’t want her to be crashed when things go sour. Do you honestly believe such things can happen and more so over the internet? Do you believe in soulmates?

I will be waiting for your answer,

Anne's Friend.

Thank you for your question, Anne’s friend.

Now this friend of yours, Anne as you call her, seems to have a serious problem in her hands.

You are right that in many ways this is very crazy. One needs to be very careful about Internet relationships. As I am sure you know, people have been conned before and there are all sorts of dangers associated with these kinds of relationships. Men have even posed as women and vice versa.

It may also seem to have gone on for a very short time. Barely a month you say. However here we need to consider the fact that online relationships develop much faster and what will take months in the real world can take days online.

Despite the age difference the two are in serious love or so it seems. Is there any money involved? If she does NOT love him for his money and what he can do for her, then there may be something very serious going on here. Here in Udaku recently we carried a story about a woman who found love with a 25 year old man when she was 42. The truth is that it happens all the time. Love does not really choose or care. That is a fact. At least true love doesn’t. But be warned true love is rare and very hard to come by.

Still I see a lot of obstacles in this relationship. For example are either of them the kind of people who can easily be influenced by others. I am talking here about their friends. What will the man’s friends think of him moving around with such a young girl. And what about the girl, what will her friends think of her, especially if the man is wealthy?

What I suspect is that both are well aware of these facts and have chosen to ignore them.

What if this was true love? Who am I to advice her to abandon possible happiness and marital joy and bliss beyond her wildest dreams?

Bottom line here is very simple. You have to focus on the most important thing, which is are the two in love? Is it genuine love ama mchezo? The answer to those questions should drive the decision here. If it is not love, then she had better find somebody her own age. However if it is true love, nothing can keep them apart, not even you as a well intentioned friend.

Send in your questions to me (Auntie Joan) udakudaily at hotmail dot com.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Crime Of Passion That Shocked Africa And The World

She fell passionately in love with her best friend’s husband, what else could she have done?

Of all crimes of passion ever committed, the case in Botswana a few years ago still stands out as the craziest. Today in Udaku Daily we recreate the tale here for you.

Priska was in love with her best friend’s husband. Priska a white South African and Janet had met when both were in school at a girl’s boarding school in Pretoria.

She still regretted the day that she had made a decision to visit her best friend in Gaberone, Botswana. The two women had not seen each other for many years and although Janet did not have any children yet, she had been married to her husband for quite sometime. We shall call her husband Josiah.

She still remembered the day that Janet had introduced her husband. Priska’s eyes had locked with his for only a split second but she had known then that she was in big trouble. It wasn’t that the man was an exceptionally good looker, but she just felt drawn to him like a magnet. She felt totally out of control. It was difficult to describe the feeling.

Poor Janet never for one minute suspected that anything was going on, even as the sparks flew and temperatures rose considerably on the many occasions when the three were seated together somewhere.

What made things worse was Janet’s insistence that Priska should stay with them instead of a nearby hotel. The poor woman really trusted her husband because she usually worked very late on some nights.

It was during one of those nights that Priska had made passionate love to Josiah for the first time. It was the kind of lovemaking she had never thought was possible. Even now she shivered and started getting hot just thinking about it. There was something very animalish in the way Josiah had just devoured her. It was almost rape only that she had wanted it so badly that she had torn off his shirt herself.

The crazy thing is that even when it was over she still wanted more of him.

Afterwards she had laid in bed in her best friend’s house wondering what had come over her. She felt no remorse or regret at all over what she had done. That is the thing that she really found bizarre. Yet she had just slept with her best friend’s husband. She was supposed to be feeling as guilty as hell.

Janet did not get suspicious when Priska extended her stay. The passionate affair continued now in hotel rooms and other secret hideouts and love nests. It was soon very clear that Priska could not do without Josiah. And now they had a very serious problem. Priska and Josiah wanted to be together but the big hindrance was Janet. She was married to the man and legally had the man that Priska wanted all to herself and needed like oxygen itself.

It is not clear exactly when the evil thought first crossed her mind, but there is no doubt that she entertained it and it grew and was nurtured. Finally it became an obsession.

The horrified crowds in the court room later were to be told how Priska crossed the border back into South Africa and purchased a revolver which she brought back with her to her friend’s house in Botswana. Indeed the friend who had shown her nothing but kindness and who had generously hosted her in her own house. One fateful night, Priska waited for Janet somewhere and shot her dead in cold blood. She got rid of the gun. Police were naturally puzzled at the crime and started to make their enquires.

But one mistake Priska made was that she could not stay away from Josiah at least until things cooled off. That was one of the reasons why the suspicions of the police were raised.

Priska did not have too long a time with Josiah all to herself. The two were arrested for the murder of Janet. Priska was convicted while the lover for whom she had done it for was released. Priska was sentenced to hang for the crime. Under the law in Botswana a death row inmate can receive a presidential pardon and for a time Priska’s hopes hang on that happening. But the president of Botswana declined to pardon her and she was hanged.

What is it that can push a woman to behave in such a murderous fashion, what kind of love and passion was it that happened between Priska and Josiah to warrant such behaviour? We can only speculate because that was a secret carried to the grave by love-crazy Priska.

Starting to tomorrow, we carry the famous steamy Jeff Koinange emails here in Udaku Daily. Read for the first time the never-before published emails in great detail. And never forget that it was Udaku Daily that first brought them to you.

Our new agony aunt column, Ask Aunty Loan also starts tomorrow here in Udaku Daily. Send in your difficult relationship problems now to udakudaily at

Monday, April 21, 2008

Straying Husband Taught A Lesson By Woman And His Wife

It really is amazing but the truth is that some stories are just too strange to be fiction and the one you are about to read falls neatly into this category.

This long suffering Kenyan wife knew her husband well and especially his promiscuity, but stayed in the marriage for the sake of her children. She did this at great risk to her life because we all know that these days, a husbands' infidelity can cost a wife their life though the dreaded Aids (okay, even a wife's infidelity can, but those cases are somewhat extremely rare.)

The couple moved into this new neighborhood and as usual the husband started playing his "games". It did not matter that the focus of his attention was a married woman whose husband traveled a lot. The woman lived right next door to them.

Luckily the young woman struck a friendship with the errant husband's wife (let us call the errant man "Jogoo").

Jogoo knew about the friendship and that is why he was a little surprised when the woman suddenly started softening towards his advances. To the extent where she invited him for a night of passionate lovemaking, as long as he followed her instructions to the letter. Jogoo could not believe his ears and at first thought that the woman was joking. But he soon realized that she was dead serious. He brushed aside any doubts he may have had by telling himself that most women found him irresistible.

The day of his "hot" date could not come soon enough but finally it arrived and Jogoo was in very high spirits the whole of that day, really looking forward with all his heart to the panned activities of the night. Of all his "conquests", this one had to be the most major. The young neighbors wife was extremely attractive and was now his wife's best friend. Meaning that she desired him so much that she was prepared to risk her friendship with his wife – what a turn on, Jogoo thought to himself. He decided to while the hours away having a few drinks at the nearby "local." His instructions were clear. He was to come in after midnight when chances of the woman's husband showing up unexpectedly were virtually nil. He had also been told not to switch on any lights (you never know which nosy neighbor would spot him, and tell his wife).

He kept himself amused flirting with the huge pot-bellied bar maid who obviously enjoyed his advances immensely. But then he was really no longer interested in her having already enjoyed her favors within a day or two of moving into the neighborhood.

Finally he glanced at his watch and noted that it was a minute or so to midnight. He hurriedly swallowed his last beer and left the bar almost running. He passed his own house and noted that all the lights were off, meaning that his wife had already gone to bed.

He went in through the back and found the key under the mat just as he had been told. Once inside, he locked the door behind him and tiptoed upstairs into his neighbor's bedroom.

She was waiting for him. The first thing that hit him as he entered the bedroom was her perfume. Very feminine but it also smelt like wild flowers. What followed was a night of wild lovemaking with the neighbor's wife. He fell into an exhausted sleep and by the time he woke up the sun was already shining through the still-drawn curtains. Events of the night came flooding back and he turned around with a wide smile to face his neighbor's wife with the thought being intimate one last time. Instead he got the shock of his life.

Lying there right next to him, eyes open and looking straight at him was his dear wife!!

His wife congratulated him for displaying a passion that she had never known him for. Jogoo was too shocked to say anything.

Apparently the two wives had decided to teach him a lesson and to carry out an experiment that proved what psychologists have always been saying – that sex is really in the mind. They had switched places and Jogoo's own wife had worn her friend's night dress and used her perfume and waited eagerly for her own errant husband, who had not recognized her in the dark bedroom and amazingly during the entire long night of lovemaking.

The person who sent me this story left too many questions unanswered. For instance what happened to the marriage after this? Did it get better or worse?

They only ended the story by stating the obvious, that Jogoo learnt a lesson that he would never forget and that his errant ways ended that night.

Can somebody please finish this (true, real life experience) tale for us and tell us exactly what happened next.

We have reproduced this article courtesy of Kumekucha's sister site, You Missed This Extra

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Adulterous Boss Stuck In Action

They say that a stolen moment is the sweetest. This could probably explain the behavior of Mary, a woman married to a Nairobi policeman. The couple lived in the police lines somewhere near Muthurwa in Nairobi.

Although her husband was a fairly junior police officer, Mary did not have much to complain about because the man earned a substantial amount of cash from bribes received on a daily basis when he was on duty. As a result she was very comfortable. But it seems she was not satisfied and wanted more.

It did not take long for word to trickle to her husband that his beloved wife was having an affair. But that was not the worst of the news. The clincher was the fact that she was having this affair with her husband’s boss or commanding officer. That one hurt her husband very much.

The heartless fellow officer who had told Mary’s husband everything gave all the details including how his boss would send him deliberately on overnight trips so that he could have his wife all to himself for the night. And to make matters worse, all the action would usually take place right on Mary’s marriage bed since the officer was also married.

Mary’s husband pretended to his wife that all was well and wanted to prove to himself that the information he had been given was correct. The problem was that opportunities for long trips were not that frequent. But he was patient and the day reached when yet another opportunity for a long trip out of town presented itself and once again Mary’s husband found himself on it.

There was a valuable cargo that needed to be transported all the way to Mombasa. Mary’s husband made his plans carefully and was ready when the day of the trip came. He saluted his boss and got into the unmarked police car that was to follow the trailer all the way to Mombasa.

But what his boss did not know is that he had talked to a fellow officer who was off duty to take over the trip at Salama on the way to Mombasa. When the trailer arrived there at about 9 pm, Mary’s husband switched places with his officer friend and took the first bus he could flag down, heading straight back to Nairobi.

He arrived back at his house at about 2 am in the night and used his own key to let himself in. The moment he entered the tiny house, he heard his bed creaking violently. There was no doubt as to what was going on there.

He restrained himself and approached the bed and then suddenly lit his powerful flash light. Sure enough (he could tell the shape of that head anywhere) his boss was on top of his wife on the bed.

He calmly left them there and fetched the kerosene lamp on the side of the bed and lit it (the house did not have any electricity).

His boss was shocked to see him but said nothing. But something even stranger had happened. The boss was still stuck in the position Mary’s husband had found him. He was still on top of the woman and she had legs spread. He struggled for many minutes trying to get out but for some strange reason could not.

It is said that the commanding officer begged Mary’s husband until morning to forgive him, but he was just silent and sat there in anger taunting him instead and asking him why he liked sending him on long trips so that he could sleep with his wife. Mary’s husband was still armed but he did not shoot or even threaten his boss in any way. Killing him it seems would have been too kind.

When morning came, Mary’s husband went out to call neighbors to come and witness what had happened in his house. The news spread like wild fire in the estate and people rushed to see with their own eyes what was happening. There was soon the sort of crowd outside his house that would be the envy of any political party.

There are unconfirmed reports that at some point somebody started charging people for a chance to view “the live show.” The commanding officer tried everything in his power to get out his compromising position but somehow could not.

Here there are two conflicting theories as to what exactly had happened. The most common theory amongst the neighborhood is that Mary’s husband had visited a powerful witchdoctor aho had given him “madawa” so that he could “lock in” whoever slept with his wife. But then Kenyans are a superstitious lot.

But those who do not believe in such mambo jumbo said that there was a medical explanation. Usually if a woman gets a big shock or very frightened during intercourse her vaginal muscles tighten and hold in whatever may be there at that moment. What makes matters worse is that this happening causes the woman to be even more shocked and therefore it can take many hours for her to relax and “release” the man.

Whichever of the two versions of what may have happened is true, you be the judge.

It is also not clear how the couple were separated. Some people say the commanding officer sent for a large sum of money which Mary’s husband finally accepted as “a fine” and he was able to “release them.”

Another version says that the two were separated in hospital.

But what I know is that an ambitious gutter press publisher who tried to cash in on this story was later arrested by the police and charged with publishing an alarming report. He was jailed for 9 months with no option of a fine. The livid commanding officer who had been so greatly embarrassed felt that somebody had to pay and his wrath landed on the gutter press publisher.

It is believed that Mary’s husband forgave his wife and they are still together.

Previous hot stories in this blog

Female Bank Manager bought shirts for handsome junior employee

To teach her lover's wife a lesson, this woman left some crazy "evidence" for her to find.

Dress that leaves a lot to be desired

What was this campus chic thinking when she did what she did at Kenya Cinema?

You Need Shock Absorbers For This: A very long golf shot-bizarre photo

Mini skirt got marketing team leader hired pronto

Why A Prostitute begged a truck driver to take back the cash she had stolen from him

Kenyan woman somehow gets pregnant to avoid Hangman's rope

Most embarrassing moment for 40 year old woman

Fire farting

She murdered her only son for love

Maid cooks ugali for family with her own urine

Why Don't rich men in Kiambu eat anything at home? The answer will shock you

Friday, April 18, 2008

When Sparks Fly And Love Blossoms Into The Most Unlikely Couples Part 2

Read Part 1 of this true story

Safida found the young man waiting for her outside the supermarket. He promptly invited her for a cup of tea. Safida was now really curious. And her curiosity overcame her fears of being conned or harmed in some way.

As a precaution she insisted that she choose the place where they would have the tea. She chose a popular and usually crowded coffee house along Mama Ngina street that she had patronized for years. It wasn’t too far from the Nakumatt they had just been to. She just had to know what this young man’s racket was.

To her big surprise he was easy to talk to. But what struck Safida the most was the way he would listen. He really listened to her and seemed to hang on his every word. As most women know, most men do not listen. Some of them are good at pretending but all they do is hear what you say. They never really listen. Ben was different. They talked about everything. Safida discovered that he had a fairly good job with a well known accounting firm in Nairobi and was in the final stages of his CPA’s. But he seemed to be too knowledgeable for his age.

And that is why she never noticed the time passing. She looked at her watch and gasped already starting to get up.

“There is something very important I need to tell you.”

The way he said it, she sat down again immediately but she asked him to say it quickly because she was really running late and part of her children’s supper was still in the shopping bags that she had dumped inside the boot of her car.

But nothing had prepared her for what the young man told her next. He said that he hoped she was not married (at least he thought so because she did not have a ring on her wedding finger) although she had dodged that question asked by him in many different ways since they had sat down for their several cups of coffee. He said he really liked being with her and had liked her from the first time he had seen her.

Aiii!!! He had to be joking. Or maybe this was an elaborate con trick that was supposed to end up with her parting with a substantial amount of cash. But she decided not to let him know that she was suspicious. That way she had a chance of taking him and his conmanship gang by surprise. At least that is what she told this writer about what her thoughts were at the coffee shop along Mama Ngina street that first date.

She pretended to be highly amused. “I could be your mother you know. There are so many young girls desperately looking for somebody just like you.”

That statement seemed to hurt the young man and this surprised Safida even more. If this was a con trick, then these guys were very good. But she could see even more pain in his face after what she told him next.

“Okay you must want money from me. Let me tell you, you will get a single cent. Be honest, is this what all this is about?”

She ended up storming out of the coffee shop. She left him seated there looking like it was the end of the world… and it kind of haunted her the whole evening and for many more days.

Then she found herself behaving very funnily. She started going out of her way to visit that particular Nakumatt supermarket, but many months passed and she did not meet the young man at the supermarket again. Just as well she told herself, the guy had no idea what he was talking about. Either that or the conning they were planning to do, did not work out since she discovered early that it was about money.

After 3 long months, she did the unthinkable. She called the accounting firm he had mentioned. She lied to herself that she was just checking him out, to confirm that he was really who he said he was. Deep inside her she hoped to talk to him again. To get to the bottom of this issue.

“Mr Mbugua is auditing at a client’s office,” the male telephone receptionist told her. “Can I take a message?”

She left her name and telephone number but then regretted it as soon as she had put down the phone. He called back before the end of the day and she was surprised at how fast her heart beat and how glad she was that he had called.

They met again at the same coffee shop and talked for hours. It was rather obvious that there was a lot of chemistry between them and the sparks were flying all over the place. But it was also obvious that there were huge mountains standing in the way of this unlikely relationship.

Her children hated Ben with a passion and wondered what had gotten into their very reliable and responsible mother. People who knew Safida talked a lot about how she was keeping a young man. They had a good time discussing how sexually hungry she must be. They really laughed their heads off at the gossip.

Ben’s friends could not understand what was going on. He got a fairly good salary from his job and could not have been that desperate for money to move around with a woman who could easily have given birth to him. And again she was a little overweight. They asked me if he had failed to find a chic so that they could help him get one. They found out that he was not interested. He was in love.

As you read this Ben and Safida are very happily married. Their problems have not gone away. For starters Ben’s parents and especially his mother hate Safida with a passion. In fact although they were invited, they did not attend the simple ceremony that the couple had which was the signing at the AG’s chambers followed by lunch at a nearby restaurant.

People still gossip a lot. But the two are very happy to have found each other.

Maybe you’re even one of the people who gossip about them and after reading this you have a pretty good idea who I am talking about. But I would like to ask you to stop gossiping because the joke is on you. The two have found true love, have you?

As I keep on telling a very close friend, many people are born and die without ever experiencing true love. To others true love comes calling once in a life time. Just remember that it will often come with many obstacles standing in the way. However if it is really true love the obstacles will always be overcome.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

When Sparks Fly And Love Blossoms Into The Most Unlikely Couples

It happens all the time in this world. A man and a woman meet who on the outside would seem to be the most unlikely of couples and the sparks fly and they are drawn to each other like magnets. Sometimes tragedy results, other times years of marital bliss and a very special relationship results.

Ben And Safida were the most unlikely couple anyone would ever have imagined coming together. Safida was 42, the age where most women have given up ever getting married. Ben was barely 25 and just starting out in life, a handsome man who would have married any beautiful Nairobi woman.

Safida was the very opposite. She was a little overweight although she was always careful to look good. But it was always an uphill task for her having given birth to two teenage children of her own from different men. Safida’s social life consisted of going to church on Sundays and spending quality time with her two teenage children on week days. She had resigned herself to a life of taking care of her children and had given up hope of ever getting married. But little did she know that destiny and fate had other ideas for her.

One other social event that Safida never missed to attend were weddings. She would always carry her gift and would ensure that she shook the bride and bridegrooms hand. Safidah had a fairly good job working for a well known NGO organization based in Kenya and mercifully money was not a major struggle for her.

Somehow word spread that she usually gave very impressive gifts at whatever weddings she attended. So the wedding invitations flowed and for a reason this writer does not quite understand Safida dutifully attended virtually every wedding she was invited to. Amazingly when pressure at work or a trip would not allow her to attend she would still always ensure that she had sent her gift.

I will be honest to tell you that here I can only speculate as to what drove Safida to do what she did. Was she somehow still secretly hoping that one day somebody would approach her for marriage, even as she progressed into her fourties? My source who gave me this story claims that she was investing in her own future wedding. He assures me that nothing a person “plants” repeatedly on this earth will fail to grow and yield fruits.

So one day she attended this wedding of a very young couple. The man was only 25 and his bride was about 22. As usual after the church service, she proceeded to the reception carrying this huge parcel of a gift for the newly weds.

She hardly paid any attention to a smartly dressed man who sat about 3 seats away on the same front row where she took her seat. As is usually the case at such a function people come and go and as the afternoon progressed the two people sitting between Safida and the young man left and as other people arrived, she suddenly found herself seated right next to the smartly dressed young man.

To her he seemed barely 5 years older than her own 17 year old first born son.

“Hello, my name is Mbugua, Ben Mbugua,” the young man introduced himself. Safida politely said hello to him and wondered what he wanted from her. Could he be a conman, she asked herself and decided to be extra careful with him.

“Do you know the bride or the bridegroom?” the young man kept pressing. Safida rudely answered that she knew neither and kept quiet. She started looking around for another seat to move to. This man was surely behaving weirdly. But the place was packed and so she was forced to stay put. But the moment she handed over her gift she fled.

She was sure that is the last she would see of the weirdo of a young man.

About 3 weeks later while shopping at one of the Nakumatts a smiling young man approached her with his hand extended.

“Remember me?” he asked a broad smile on his face that reminded her of her son.

At first she could not place him. Then she remembered. She accepted his hand and shook it wondering what the game here really was.

Read Part 2 of this true story

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Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Childless Riruta Housewife Entertains Man Who Said He Would “Open The Way”

Martha knew that her husband loved her very much and all should have been well in this marriage. But alas, there was one major problem and although her husband constantly reassured her, Martha could not get any peace.

Martha had gotten married to Fred when her daughter (from another man) Zip was about 3 years old. Zip and Fred had become friends immediately and had taken to each other big time. In fact Zip grew up knowing that Fred was her biological father. Not until some jealous relatives of her mother had told her the truth. But that is a story for another day.

Martha moved from specialist to specialist in town only to be told the same thing. That there was some blockage on her fallopian tubes and this was why chances of her ever conceiving again were close to nil until this situation could be corrected. And to make matters worse there was some complication that doctors said made every solution they could think of “tricky”.

Fred reassured Martha that he loved her and her child and that one daughter was enough for them. Martha had her doubts. In fact even her friends advised her that one day, the man would turn to another woman to produce “his own blood.” They even went ahead and gave her many cases she knew about to prove their point. They even told her that women who produced daughters for their husbands were still abandoned in the end. Now what about her situation where her daughter was not even Fred’s blood, even though she called him Daddy?

Martha pretended that it was no big deal but the truth was that when Fred went to work and left her alone in the house she could think of nothing else. She knew that her friends envied her because of Fred’s commitment to her and the fact that he was such a loving man. She was well aware that they were capable of doing anything to mess her marriage. But she also knew that what they said rung true.

So she was constantly hopping from doctor to doctor desperate to birth Fred’s child.

One day a friend suggested that she visit a Korino man who usually prayed for people to get children in neighboring Kawangware which was not very far from Riruta where she lived. On visiting the man he told her that he would have to say his prayers in her house. What gave Martha much confidence that the guy was a real “man of God” was the fact that he told her he never accepted any payment for his work. It was free. After paying a small fortune so far in fruitless visits to doctors Martha was relieved to hear this and very hopeful that she may have finally found the right solution. If the guy did not ask for money then there was no way he could be a conman, she reassured herself.

And so Martha brought him into their home. It was during the April school holidays and Zip was home from school and of course the little girl who served as a maid in the house. Martha sent them to the kitchen while the man “prayed” in the sitting room.

After a while he told Martha that his “prayers” had led him to a solution to her problem. She would have to trust him on this one, he said. He told her that he had been ordered to “open the way” for her pregnancy. Martha was puzzled and wondered how he was going to do this. The man told her that he would have to have sexual intercourse with her and then the way would be open and he would get pregnant the next time she was with her husband.

Martha’s first reaction was to kick the man out of her house.

The man continued even as her mind raced. He said that she would also have to give him one of her husband’s shirts so that when he went away, he would continue “praying” so that in case the man was “shooting blanks” there would be a change and he would start firing “real live ammunition” capable of getting her pregnant. Martha remembered that her husband had not gone for any tests. Not that he had refused but it had always been assumed because of what doctors said the problem was with Martha and not Fred. But what if the doctors were wrong and the problem was with Fred? After all she had already conceived a child and given birth before. Fred hadn’t.

Martha was desperate for a solution and so she accepted the man’s proposal. She called Zip and her 12 year old maid and sent them to a shop which was at least 30 minutes away.

“And buy yourselves a soda when you get there,” she told them as the happily skipped away and left the man and Martha alone in the house. It was about 11 am and Fred was at work. Martha went to the children’s bedroom and removed the mattress the maid and her daughter usually slept on and put it down on the floor.

The man was well endowed and it was a little painful for Martha, but within 15 minutes or so “the man of prayer” had emptied himself inside her. He quickly dressed and said another loud prayer.

Martha brought him one of her husbands’ shirts (she later told her husband that the shirt had been stolen off the clothes line).

Fred came home in the evening as usual and he was in the mood and Martha hoped that she had conceived that night. She waited and the weeks quickly turned into months and yet nothing happened.

Martha was very upset. Especially one day when she went to the market at Kwangware and spotted the man wearing her husband’s shirt. She cursed silently realizing that she had been conned big time. But there was absolutely nothing she could do. She could not even dare tell Fred what had happened.

She later learnt that the man who was a Luhya was in the business of cheating housewives in that way. He usually took shirts and other “gifts” from the encounters but his charge for the prayers appeared to be only sex from people’s wives. Martha was disgusted with herself and the conman.

However this story has a happy ending.

About two years after this incident, a real woman of prayer came to Martha and told her that she was going to get pregnant with a son. Martha, after her earlier experience was a little skeptical, but sure enough about 3 months later she missed her periods for the first time in a long time. She now has Fred’s son.

Oh and she waited almost 10 years later to tell Fred about the incident. In one of those silly and dangerous games couples play of making confessions to one another. Luckily Fred is a strange one. He was very hurt hearing about what Martha had done to him. But she reminded him that he too had strayed and she had forgiven him.

Both are staunch church going Christians these days.

Monday, April 14, 2008

How Snake Was Used In Attempt To Make Barren Woman Give Birth

The kind of things childless women go through to have children!!........aii!

If you have not been through such an experience I can assure you that you have no idea. Even if somebody were to explain it to you there is no way you would understand.

For example there is this lady who visited a witchdoctor and went through something that is akin to the worst, most scary horror movie you can think of. She had been referred to this witchdoctor in Kitui and was told that the man was expensive but he never failed. She rushed there not knowing what awaited her.

She was ushered into a very dark room and after brief consultations she was asked to remove her skirt and sit on a pot with her private parts exposed to the inside of the pot. She could not believe her ears. Remove her clothes? In front of this stranger? Then she remembered that she was childless and desperate for a child and she quickly stripped.

The man made some incantations and she felt a strange tickling sensation down there. Like a feather was touching her. She froze and a chill went down her spine. After what appeared to be hours of this (although it could not have lasted more than a minute), she was asked to get up and dress.

She asked what was inside the pot and the man just laughed and asked her to place the money on the floor. She obeyed and what she saw next almost made her pass out. The withdoctor reached into the pot and removed a giant snake and proceeded to wrapi it around his neck. The woman would have easily fainted, was she not too scared to pass out in this dark nightmare of a room. The horror of knowing that her private parts had been “licked” by a snake haunted her for a long time.

She left the place feeling very stupid and cheated. She was sure that she had wasted her hard-earned money.

However the very next month she missed her periods.

The woman gave birth alright but to a retarded child that is now a bigger burden than when she was childless.

The caption to this picture is simply; "it would be so easy." Obviously referring to the relationship between men and women

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Licentious game of the rich that ended up in tragedy

Rich folks are crazy. The things they do would hardly make sense to the vast majority of ordinary folk.

There is this game that is very regularly played in those leafy estates of Nairobi like Westlands, Runda, Lavington and Spring Valley. In Mombasa it happens in places like Nyali and in Dar-es-salaam you will find the game being played in areas like Masaki and Mikocheni amongst other places.

This is what people refer to as swinging.

For those still in the dark this is the situation where people exchange wives and husbands for sexual pleasure. They say that eating even chapatis and chicken every day tends to get boring at some stage. So the idea is to change diet once ion a while and to do it without hiding the fact from your spouse.

There are even special clubs for swinging that exist in East Africa where you go with your spouse and you switch them and end up going home with somebody else for a night of passionate love making. In other cases, two or three couples meet and then switch partners for a night of fun.

All this looks like it may be a lot of fun. However the truth is that in this day and age many things can go wrong. There are STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) that are incurable and I am not talking about HIV-Aids. And these kind of sexual diseases are on the increase. Not to mention unwanted pregnancies and all sorts of complications that could easily turn one night of fun into a terrible nightmare that could last for many years, even fpr the rest of your life on this planet.

Or what happened to Janet could happen to you.

Janet had been married for about 18 years and when the idea was proposed to her, she got very excited. Her husband had gotten a new job and had done a few corrupt deals that had greatly uplifted the financial status of the family. It had all looked like a dream to Janet. In a very short time the couple had moved from Kayole to Karen. And of course this meant that they obtained new family friends. They no longer had anything to do with their dear old Kayole friends.

Janet had been having fantasies of her own as to how pleasurable it would be to get hungrily devoured by somebody else other than Baba Jimmy who these days required lots of “encouragement” to rise to the occasion and even when he did it was a little half mast. You really couldn’t blame him, the years were advancing.

She was very excited about the whole thing and the first experience did not disappoint her. It had excited her immensely that even after all these years a man would get so excited seeing her naked that she thought his eyes would pop out.

Janet’s view was that rich folk were very clever because this was the solution against things like divorce and marital problems. In the weeks after the encounter she found that she was extra caring to Baba Jimmy.

It was the third encounter that brought problems big time. And it was not some incurable disease or anything. Something very simple happen. Janet just went crazy over this man. She had never experienced sex like this in her life. In fact she had not realize that it was [possible for sexual pleasure to reach those kind of heights.

Before she knew what was happening, she was secretly meeting the man without Baba Jimmy’s knowledge. Shortly after she moved in with him and they started living together in a hotel room at the Silver Springs Hotel. Janet completely abandoned her husband and children.

The man was married and so on one or two nights he would go back home to see his wife and family. Janet would be left all alone in the hotel room crying the whole night. It was just crazy.

Today Baba Jimmy has re-married and Janet sees her children only once in a while. Her lover soon got tired of the whole thing. It seemed that it was a big turn on that he was banging somebody else’s wife but that quickly wore off when Janet left her husband and Baba Jimmy got himself a much younger wife.

There are rumours yet to be confirmed that the once respectable Mama Jimmy is a very loose woman these days and people say she is seen with very young penniless boys.

Yeah, swinging is not the fun and games it is made out to be, ask Janet.

Why not just spice up your sex life with your mama Jimmy or Baba Jimmy?

Friday, April 11, 2008

Landlord evicts woman for “too much noise from the bedroom”

There is a saying that if walls could speak, what they would say would shock us all to the bones. Actually many women suffer behind silent walls and live a very miserable life not knowing what to do.

This was the exact situation Janice found herself in after several years of marriage. A woman is a human being and needs to have sexual fulfillment in a marriage just the way a man does. So what do you do if your husband has got issues of his own that hinder you as a woman from being fulfilled? You may be quick to suggest that you talk to him or seek professional help in the form of counseling. But what if the man gets violent when you make such suggestions?

Janice’s husband Tom did not care about a woman’s feelings, least of all his own wife’s. It is difficult to believe that in this day and age men would exist who are sure that sex is for their own enjoyment and their own enjoyment alone and that their wife should satisfy only their demands as a sense of duty. Janice always suspected that it may have had something to do with the small size of his member which may have dealt a big blow to his esteem and self confidence.

The situation got so bad “being used” by Tom, when he felt like it that she had no alternative but to do the very shameful act of “servicing” herself and masturbating using a pillow. She became so used to it that after a while she stopped crying afterwards.

Probably what keeps many women sane is the fact that they talk a lot to others about their sometimes extremely intimate problems and Janice talked to her close women friends and explained her predicament. Mostly they were shocked to hear the details, but her situation was so complicated that it really had no solution as far as they were concerned. After all divorce was not the kind of thing that was accepted in Africa. In fact divorced women were often looked down on as having something wrong with them, It was assumed that there could never be anything wrong with the man, it was always the woman.

Finally Janice could not bear it any more and walked out of the marriage and started dating other men. Luckily this was a little easy because the marriage had not produced any children and Janice’ friends were not surprised because a man who took less than a minute in the act every time would not have too big a chance of “scoring a goal” surely and causing the birth of any children.

But Tom was really sick in the mind because in a fit of jealousy a few months after Janice had left him, he confronted her and beat her up very badly. It was this beating that caused her to move out of town. Luckily her bosses understood her predicament quickly and posted her to Nairobi from Kisumu. She quickly settled down in the city in the sun and ended up with a man (we shall call him James) who was about 10 years younger than her. One thing led to another and he moved into her house. He was just out of college and jobless.

James was very different from Tom. In fact he was the exact opposite of Tom and knew how to do everything to please and fulfill a woman. Indeed it is this that caused Janice to run into a more embarrassing problem.

It is difficult to tell why exactly she behaved the way she did, but it probably had to something to do with the almost 7 years of being trapped in a very unhappy marriage with Tom.

Janice problem was that she became very “noisy” when having sex with James. So noisy in fact that her neighbors started complaining. For example they would be preparing to go to church with their children on a Sunday morning when suddenly the loud moans culminating into screams would start coming from Door No 4 (which was her door number in the first flats she lived in.)

Naturally the children would get concerned and ask why “aunty” was screaming so early in the morning, and was she being beaten?

In this way she has so far been evicted from at least 3 houses during the time she has been in Nairobi which is barely 3 years. In fact in one estate where she used to live she was some sort of celebrity and that is how we were able to get this story.

The amazing thing is that Janice does not seem embarrassed nor does she seem to care too much about being the kind of “celebrity” she is. Is it because she managed to get out of such a terrible marriage in one piece that causes her to be so carefree and oblivious of disturbing neighbors?

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Thursday, April 10, 2008

Why Did Kenyan Man Disappear In Tanzania Part II

Read Part 1 Of This True story

Mrs Kamua could not understand why her husband had behaved the way he had when he had seen her. Now she was very worried. What had these Tanzanians done to him? She was also confused and very hurt. She was sure he had seen him and yet the he had quickly rushed back into his office.

Over the next few days Mrs Kamau was to find out many things that hurt her very deeply. Many times she felt like boarding the next bus out of Tanzania but she remained and she persevered for the sake of their children.

This is what had happened to Mr Kamau.

Mr Kamau had gotten involved with a young 23 tear old Tanzanian girl who worked at the hotel. Tanzanian women generally believe that Kenyans have a lot of money and in a way this is true because they are often employed on much higher salaries than locals in Tanzania and this has also brought a lot of animosity against Kenyans within locals.

One problem is that Mr Kamau had never been to Tanzania before and therefore did not know the country at all and neither did he know the women.

The young girl, we shall call her Sophia decided that she had come across a gold mine and she was going to “milk it” to the maximum, using the considerable skills she had for her tender age. Actually all she did was turn on her Tanzanian charm and use the knowledge her aunties had taught her about how to please a man. It was fairly easy to trap the conservative Kikuyu man from Kenya in her snare.

Before long the young lady was living in his house and that is where he was completely won over to the extent that he forgot all about his family who had stuck with him and suffered with him all those long months that turned into years when he was unemployed.

Tanzanian women know that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. So while Mrs Kamau for example preferred to cook her rice mixed with potatoes meat and cabbages and everything stuffed into the sufuria and stirred together to save time, Sophia would take time to cook a meal fit for a king every time without fail. The rice would be cooked separately, the meat separately and a stew or sauce separately. Then she would cook a vegetable that tastes almost like meat that was not found in Kenya called matebele separately. By the time she served the food, the aroma alone was enough to make any man’s mouth start watering.

She would then bring him warm water to wash his hands and then she would sit next to him and then take a lot of pleasure from the way he ate hungrily as if there was no tomorrow.

“Kula mpenzi wangu ndio mimi pia chakula kiweze kuteremka.” (Eat my love so that my food will be able to pass my throat). She would say this to him in a soft woman’s voice that would penetrate deep into his heart and of course the other place as well.

He remembered Mrs Kamau who was very rude and could not even take water into the bathroom for him and things started happening to him. It did not matter that he was in his late 40s and this girl was only 23.

Sophia would then go into the bathroom and bathe before joining Kamau in bed. Now this was the knock out blow that caused poor Mr Kamau to bring his entire salary of Kshs 150,000 to Sophia and surrender it all to her at the end of the month.

Sophia would apply some special oil her aunties told her about that would make even a man long dead rise to the occasion if you know what I mean. The special training that she had received had taught her the scent was very important in sex. Kamau remembered that his wife often smelled of urine. Sophia's deadly skills here were coupled with the special beaded necklaces that she wore around her waste always and especially during the act.

Kamau could not even begin to compare this with his wife who always came to bed exhausted and would start snoring before her head hit the pillow. Mrs Kamau would only remain alert if there was something to complain about. She would then nag him until Kamau got a headache just listening to her and her endless complaints.

Sophia was well trained. If there was something to be discussed the bed was the last place to discuss it. Beds were places for rest relaxation and sex for couples. Her aunties had told her again and again that to get a favorable answer to our request, you had to do a good job in bed and then when you would not even need to ask, the man would be eating out of your hand in no time. If the man was very mean and push came to shove you just pretended to be very upset. The man would miss the usual "sunshine" and would cave in immediately. That is exactly what Sophia did. By the time Mrs Kamau was traveling to Dar-es-salaam, Kamau would have sworn that he did not have any family in Nairobi, let alone a wife other than Sophia.

Back to that reception at the hotel where Mrs Kamau had noticed her husband’s very strange behaviour. She sat at the reception for almost 30 minutes not knowing what to do next. Finally the receptionist announced in that complex Kiswahili that Mr Kamau was ready to see her. She led him up the stairs and Mrs Kamau could not help noticing how she walked in an exaggerated way, swinging her hips excessively. Why was she doing that, she was not a man, she thought to herself. It annoyed her now that she was faced with such a serious problem with her husband of many years. Mrs Kamau would not have known that she had been trained to walk when she was barely 4 years and now it was the natural way she walked. Actually she glided u the stairs.

Mr Kamau did not even stand up when she walked in. The receptionist closed the door and left them alone. According to Mrs Kamau’s testimony of the events of that day, the conversation went something like this;

“Why have you wasted money coming here?”

Mrs Kamau was deeply hurt by this question: “Did you completely forget about your children? Tell me what is going on here?”

“I am very busy. You will have to go back to Nairobi today.”

“What have they done to you here that you forget your family completely.”

To cut a long story short, it took a lot of prayer and at least three trips to Tanzania for Mrs Kamau to free her husband from the clutches of the Tanzanian girl.

In fact he was forced to leave Tanzania and his lucrative job when relatives intervened and organized another job for him in Kenya to save the marriage. To this day Mrs Kamau hasn't the slightest idea what hit her.

Some people say Sophia used witchcraft, others including this writer say that she did not need to because she knew the exact buttons to touch in a man--literally.

My advice is that if your husband goes to work in Tanzania without you at his side and your are a typical Kenyan woman..... sahau.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Why Did Kenyan Man Disappear In Tanzania?

Trust me, you don’t want to know the answer

Today’s story comes all the way from our neighboring country of Tanzania.

For those Kenyans who do not know Tanzania well, it is a very beautiful country that boasts of some equally beautiful and graceful ladies. The kind of ladies that in a straight competition for a man would beat a Kenyan lady hands down any day. This is despite the major problem they have in that country where English is a major obstacle.

You see what happens is that children in Tanzanian schools learn all subjects in Kiswahili until they finish primary school. It is only in high school that they start to tackle subjects in English. Little wonder that their Kiswahili is so good.

Still there is another education Tanzania women get that Kenyan women do not get. The truth is that in many cultures in Tanzania young girls ae trained in the art of pleasing a man when they are very young. And by pleasing a man I mean all and every aspect of pleasing man. They are also trained on how to walk. The truth is that many Kenyan women punish the ground but our dear Tanzanian sisters glide.

James Kamau had suffered for a long time without a job. It is widely know that these days it is easier for an elephant to fit in a Masai manyatta than for a Kenyan to get a good job somewhere.

Mr Kamau’s family was not really any different from many families in Kenya over the last couple of years. Things got so bad that they started begging for hand outs from family members who in turn quickly got tired of feeding a man and his whole family.

Then out of the blue a job opportunity presented itself in Dar-es-salaam, Tanzania. To cut a long story short Kamua headed there and landed a job where he was being paid roughly Kshs 150,000, Mrs Kamau, a proud woman was overjoyed that finally the family problems had come to an end. Or so she thought.

At the end of the first month Mr Kamau send by Western Union Kshs 100,000 to his wife to pay off the money he had borrowed to travel to Tanzania in the first place and then to take care of family needs. The family was overjoyed and it seemed that the worst was now over for the family.

But on the second month, they received only Kshs 20,000 and the amount dwindled until after a few months Mr Kamua stopped sending anything. It was around that time that the family completely lost contact with him as his phone became Mteja all the time, meaning that nobody was picking it up.

Very worried for the safety of her husband Mrs Kamau borrowed money and boarded an Akamba bus for Dar-es-salaam.

The trip from Nairobi to Dar-es-salaam is a very long one indeed and poor Mrs Kamau had plenty of time to worry herself sick and wonder what had happened to her dear husband. She also prayed a lot asking God to keep him safe and alive and to strengthen her so that whatever problem she found on the other side, she would be able to solve.

Mrs Kamau arrived in the sweltering heat of Dar-es-salaam and wondered how people were able to get any work done in this kind of climate. More so because she had been born and brought up in the chilly weather of Limuru.

Tanzanians are very polite people and despite her heavy Kikuyu-accented Kiswahili which was difficult for the Tanzanians to understand, she somehow managed to get directions until she arrived at the hotel where her husband worked.

With her heart thumping violently against her chest she walked upto the reception of the beautifully constructed hotel. The moment she was inside she started feeling cool. The massive place was air-conditioned. She asked for her husband.

“Aha yule Mkenya?” The pretty receptionist asked.

She nodded and was asked to take a seat while they traced him. Mrs Kamau was so relieved because at least her husband was alive and well. But why had he not contacted the family all this time? What had happened to his cell phone number? She told herself that she would soon find out.

“Mama wako mzazi yuko hapa kutoka Nairobi,” (Your mother is here to see you from Nairobi) the pretty receptionist spoke into the phone.

Mrs Kamau wanted to correct her and tell her that she was his wife but decided against it. It would be such a bother. Their Kiswahili was so difficult and they did not seem to understand hers. Why waste time? She let it slide.

Mrs Kamau looked up at the exact moment that her husband emerged from a door on a higher floor just above the reception below which must have been his office and their eyes met. It was like he had seen a ghost he quickly rushed back into his office and shut the door behind him.

Read Part 2 of this true story

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