Related Posts with Thumbnails
Looking for a date... quick? Checkout the brand new dating site full of surprises, Carol Nyege speed dating. You'll love it!!

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Father who fell in love with his own daughter

Money it seems sometimes has a funny effect on the brains of those who make plenty of it.

I have in mind the sick bizarre story that you will be told if you ask any old hand at the famous Dagoretti slaughterhouse about the billionaire who had a love affair with his own daughter.

Residents of the area still scratch their heads in wonder and ask themselves many questions as to what the problem may have been. The billionaire would have had any woman he wanted and yet he found that there was no other he could love romantically except his own blood daughter.

This billionaire never went to school but from a humble beginning managed to build a vast business empire to become one of the richest people ever in the history of Nairobi.

He built a very large mansion fit for a king in Karen and forbade any of his two wives (including his daughter’s mother) from ever setting foot in the place. The woman of that house was of course his very own beautiful daughter. After their busy days father and daughter would arrive there in their separate cars for companionship and passionate love-making at night. It is said that the servants in the mansion were few and were discouraged from discussing what they saw at the house. In fact a few were dismissed for their loose tongues.

But even in this the billionaire made a huge miscalculation because this gossip tale was irresistible and word was bound to get out. And it did.

The billionaire’s daughter already had a child from a previous liaison whom she sent to boarding school when he was very young but mercifully never got pregnant from her own father.

Incidentally she died a very violent death in the hands of some trigger-happy carjackers. The father could not bear life without the love of his life and quickly followed her to the grave. He left behind a huge fortune which is still being enjoyed by his relieved wives and their children.

Get 5000 people to see your product or service, you DON’T need a website and its’ ALL FREE
…And after that get 1,000,000 more hits for FREE

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Famous Kenyan Musician beds mother and daughter

Increasingly it seems that younger men have a great preference for older women when it comes to choosing lovers. Admittedly they hardly ever marry them, but that is another topic for another day.

For now we need to concentrate on answering the question why younger men prefer older women. Why would a nice young man want to go for a pot-bellied, sagging body, fat old woman?

Some observers would say that we are asking the question the wrong way round. We should instead ask why older women prefer younger men. After all they are the ones who have been very aggressive in going all out for younger men, giving them all sorts of cash inducements and incentives to go to bed with them.

One 25 year old Kenyan interviewed by this writer says that having a relationship with women closer to his own age has become increasingly complicated. He says that he fears them because they are looking for commitment like yesterday which a young man is obviously not prepared for.

“Wana ni-bore na stories zao za marriage.” (they bore me with their great desire to get married).

Interestingly I know that younger women’s complaint about Kenyan men is that they are only interested in sex and are extremely insensitive to the real needs of a woman. Clearly the two are on a collision course here.

The fact that older women are usually independent financially and just looking for a good time has made them very attractive to younger men. But there is something else that most men find very difficult to admit. And that is the fact that most of these relationships are centred around the issue of cash. The older mamas are generous with their cash at a time when many well educated younger men are jobless and desperate.

Whatever the reasons, the actions of one famous well-known musician have left many Kenyans in deep shock. The musician in question got married recently. However before that he disgusted some of his fans who knew about his escapades, by dating a mother and her daughter and at the same time. It is said that he would receive generous cash rewards for “his services” from the mother of a very beautiful girl and he would then shamelessly spend some of that cash on the daughter of the woman as he also went to bed with her. It is not clear whether either of the two women knew about each other.

The musician told some of his close friends that the mother was a much better performer than her daughter.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

How beautiful girls date but remain virgins for their wedding night

Zanzibar is a beautiful island state with a rich history that is part of the United Republic of Tanzania. Just the place to go for a memorable holiday at very affordable rates.

One of the things about Zanzibar is the strict code of conduct based on Islam that everybody has to adhere to. Tourists are even warned not to dare walk around in their bikinis. However not everything is what it seems to be to the casual observer. A beautiful woman known to this writer and now married to a Kenyan man reveals the deeply hidden secrets of the isles.

Most Zanzibari girls must be virgins when they get married and many times this has to be proved on the wedding night. Amazingly a huge percentage of them are. But that doesn’t make sense considering what they usually get up to.

I have had the opportunity of holidaying on the island at least twice and both times I have observed young girls doing all sorts of things that young girls do. Many times because of their strict parents, they will head to the beach to practice their disco dancing moves and of course they have boyfriends whom they go with. They even spend some nights at their boyfriend’s houses and you don’t want to tell me that nothing sexual happens.

So all this puzzled me until this woman friend of mine spilled the beans. She was born and brought up in Zanzibar, so there is no corner she does not know and no insider secrets that are secrets to her.

What girls do is that they move around with their boyfriends but engage only in anal sex. In this way they are able to keep themselves “virgins” for the D-Day.

You can be sure that as a result, Zanzibari girls are much sought after for marriage and true enough any test will prove that those strikingly beautiful girls, some with Arab features are mostly virgins. And the hypocritical typical man pays top price for “the merchandise” believing that it is pure.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Picking up decent women on the streets

There are some very strange things that go on in this planet all the time… really strange.

Can you imagine meeting somebody on the matatu for the very first time and then after chatting for a few minutes, both of you alight and head to the nearest lodging house for hours of passionate sex? This is exactly what a Kenyan man did in Dar-es-salaam, Tanzania. He assures me that it happens all the time. He even insists that he has done it many times in Dar-es-salaam. What about Nairobi, I ask him? He says it is a little more complicated here and adds the rider that women are not as temptingly beautiful here as they are in Jakaya Kikwete’s country.

I am really not sure what to think because another Kenyan friend tells me that she was minding her own business one evening on the streets of Moshi, Tanzania waiting for a friend when this man came along and greeted her cheerfully. He then proceeded to ask her if she would be willing to come over to his house right away for a visit. It was rather obvious what the man wanted. Naturally my friend was outraged and could hardly believe what she was hearing.

But I am told this habit of asking for sex in the streets is rampant in the West. Of course it tends to cash in on the fact that there are some towns and cities in many places where there are not too many people from Africa. So naturally when you see a fellow African on the streets, you will tend to get extremely excited. So men cash in on this excitement to invite women into their houses for sex. And sometimes the women say, yes.

Of course we already know through real life stories on this site that men pick up women fairly regularly in upcountry buses in Kenya and some even have sex inside these buses under cover of darkness as they hurtle towards their destinations.

What is the world coming to?

Horrors of what Husbands do with their wives

If you have met any Kenyan who went to India for his university education, then you will quickly realize that India is a crazy country to live in. Most of these guys come back very different people and too many of them are alcoholics and wrecks in life.

If you try and talk to some of them about their experiences in India, you will quickly find that this is a subject that they do not want to discuss.

One of them did open up a little to me about what he saw some poor Indian husbands doing with their wives in that vast country. Something that haunted him for a long time. I suspect that he made use of the services that were offered and later felt very guilty about it.

Smiling Indian men would come with their beautiful young wives to where Kenyan students were known to live. The poverty stricken man would then offer his wife to the students. You can imagine the poor man seated outside even as he hears the noise of the springs on the bed inside the room as the robust Kenyan “works” on his wife. Indeed I am reliably informed that most Asians (apart from Singhs) are a wee bit weak in bed. So in some cases some of the wives would begin to enjoy the encounter and their moans could be heard by the husband seated humbly outside.

Finally the Kenyan would then emerge out of the room and count a few rupees into the grateful hands of the smiling husband who would then take his wife along to knock on yet another Kenyan door. A few times some sympathetic Kenyans would give the Asians some money to go away without taking up “the offer.”

That is shocking India for you.

Very very sick story this one. But 1000 per cent true.

Friday, July 25, 2008

What did you say after the first sex encounter?

Everything has gone just perfectly and the object of your desire is finally in your arms for those passionate moments. When it is over you feel great and feelings of love, emotion and all those other things that women feel are almost choking you.

What do you say?

Many women find themselves uttering those no-no-words; I love you.

And what reaction would you expect from the man? Applause? Or perhaps what you see in the movies, his eyes shining back at you with passion and affection?


Instead you will get that unmistakable look. You see it in rats when they have been trapped by a swift cat. Or rabbits in danger and about to bolt. It is the look of fear. Or in a 7 year old child when they forgot to do their homework. Keep your eyes on the face and not the words. Because whatever words he utters are really meaningless. For all intents and purposes his mind is at that time racing furiously, figuring out how he will get so busy that you will not see him again. The only time he will have is for another roll in the sack (depending of course on how good you were).

So what did you say after the first sexual encounter with a man or woman you really loved?

Let us sample a few typical famous first words;

“Wow.” (both men and women).

Big sigh (both men and women. This can have two very different possible meanings. That is relief that the tiresome physical activity that bored them to death is finally over. Or it could mean it was so great that words cannot describe it.)

“Where have you been all my life?” (usually from women, previously frustrated by lousy lovers.)

“Promise, never leave me.” (from women overwhelmed by emotions. Why would you want a useless meaningless promise that will never be kept anyway?)

“I am hungry.” (both men and women. Usually means that the sex was lousy and this is a quick exit strategy because the next thing they will suggest is eating out at a nice restaurant they know. However some people do usually, genuinely feel hungry after sex. A few.)

“Do you mind of I watch the news?” (Usually men. This clearly means, it was a disaster, unless of course they are actually appearing in the news that day, or the earn a living from the news).

“If I ever catch you with another woman, I will cut off that thing.” (another meaningless threat from a woman who has just had a great time.)

Let me end with the classic one that comes from both men and women and confirms that folks are in way too much of a hurry these days to jump into the sack.

“Sorry, what did you say your name was?”

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Mad woman who got pregnant too many times

This is the very sad story of a young girl who was so brilliant that folks in the village got jealous. It is a stark reminder of just how cruel the world we live in can be.

While growing up Zipporah was the joy of her single mother. She was intelligent and had so much wisdom that other women would flock into their house just to listen to the amazing understanding that came out of her.

It is said that several people warned Zipporah’s mother to quit “exposing” her daughter in such a way because not everybody wished her and her daughter well. But alas she did not listen because she believed that those who were giving her the advice were themselves jealous.

One day Zipporah’s mother had a terrible misunderstanding with a certain woman in the village. They say that it had something to do with the cash that women usually collect in groups. The woman even assured Zipporah’s mother in front of many witnesses that she would live to regret that particular day for many years to come.

Shortly after that encounter, Zipporah who was about to finish high school (where all the teachers had predicted she would have absolutely no problem getting into university) fell sick. She was taken to hospital but her situation got worse and the next thing her mother knew was that she had totally lost her mind. At first it was assumed that this had been caused by a Malaria attack or something and that she would end up recovering. Instead what happened was that the fever went down and she recovered everywhere else except in her mind.

Zipporah’s mother took her precious daughter to every specialist she could find and afford with her minimal resources selling charcoal in the village. Nothing happened. Mercifully a pastor from Tanzania who visited the village prayed for the young girl and she improved slightly. That means she became a little more clean and stopped passing feaces and urine on herself. But she was still not mentally stable and this new condition created another serious problem.

Men in the village shopping centre started inviting her for “mandazi”. And the thing is that this mandazi was only available after night fall and never during broad daylight. Zipporah soon got pregnant and the minute she gave birth to a very handsome young boy her mother gave the child away. But barely had Zipporah recovered, she got pregnant again and this time the mother decided to take her for an abortion. She then had her tubes blocked by doctors so that she would never be able to conceive again.

Today if you go to the small village in central Kenya where Zipporah and her mother live, you will be shocked. Zipporah is approaching 30 years of age and she’s as beautiful as ever. It is not that easy for a new comer to notice her condition. She smiles a lot and this leads to many invitations for “mandazi eating” sessions after dark.

The poor girl is a stark reminder of what the world we live in can be. A brilliant girl who attracted jealousy and ended up in the sad state she is in today.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Bride accuses husband of trying to have sex with her during honeymoon

Most of us Africans were brought up to believe that sex is “bad manners” and a terribly dirty thing we should stay away from.

A story is told about this young couple who got married and went off to their honeymoon. The church pastor was devastated when opening his office on the following Monday morning he found the young couple waiting to see him. There was obviously a big problem here. These were not the two happily smiling people he had seen off to their honeymoon, barely two days before. The old pastor had seen many things including lighting speed divorces. But this one was a new experience for him. He could not get it off his mind that he had officiated over their wedding the previous Saturday and this was Monday morning.

When they had all settled in his office, he enquired what the problem might be. The young man was fuming and retorted in a voice the pastor had never heard, “Ask this crazy girl!”

Finally the young girl blurted out: “Imagine pastor, he actually wanted to have sex with me.”

I am assured that this is a true story that happened in some church in neighboring Tanzania.

There is yet another even sadder tale.

This man had such a serious psychological problem about sex and how “dirty” it was that in several years of marriage his own wife had never seen him completely naked. He always had his boxers on. During sex he would just make a little room for his tool to come out and do the necessary and then he would quickly dress when it was all over feeling very guilty and ashamed of himself. To make matters worse this couple would very rarely have sex. It seems that the reason was that they would only have sex when the man succumbed to the temptation of having sex, otherwise he would fight off any desire he felt all the time. I am not joking my dears. So when the wife noticed this she made an effort to tempt the man more often (which is very easy for a woman to do). She was successful but this created a deeper rift in the marriage because the man was always so upset that he was doing the “dirty thing” much too frequently.

What about the case where the wife was never seen naked by the husband. Sex would be in pitch darkness always, and she would change in the bathroom or lock him out of the bedroom when she needed to remove her clothes.

There are plenty more humorous honeymoon stories but let me finish with this one about the bride who was terribly traumatized when she saw an erect, “bulging” “snake” coming towards her complete with a mouth that she expected to spit deadly poison the very next minute or even possibly bite her. She hid under the bed and started crying. It took a lot of counseling to convince her that what she had seen was normal and what every bride saw on their honeymoon. She was repeatedly told that it is in fact a much bigger tragedy when that “snake” does not bulge during the honeymoon and remains limp despite all efforts.

"Wacha amalize horror" at Hilton Bus stop

To most men the crime of rape is one big joke.

Nothing illustrates this better than an incident that took place on the streets of Nairobi some years back.

The scene of all places was the usually very crowded Hilton Bus stop. There used to be a mad man who used to regularly roam the place and mostly terrorize women.

One day at around 5 pm as Nairobians were making their way from work to catch their bus home at the very popular bus stage, my informant could not believe her eyes.

The mad man (whose name was Onyango, if my memory serves me right) was ontop of a smartly dressed woman raping her right there in the bus stop in front of everybody. Clearly there was very little the poor woman could do because you may have heard that mad men are usually very strong. A few men tried to rush forward to pull the man off the woman but they were kept at bay by some men who had cordoned off the scene determined that nothing should interfere with their “free movie.”

“Wacha amaliza kwanza” the well meaning men were told by the amused mostly youth who were watching the whole thing with awe as the dirty mad man pounded away at the smartly dressed woman right there on the pavement of the busiest bus stop in Nairobi city.

My informant has no idea what happened next or whether Onyango “alimaliza” because they shielded the curious eyes of the two children they were with at the time and hurriedly left the scene.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Barren woman goes for naïve schoolboy in last desperate attempt

There is nothing sadder in this life than a woman who badly wants kids feeling that she is running out of time.

Such is the irony of life because when women are younger they work very hard to avoid getting pregnant.

Anyway Stella had been married not once before and not twice, but three different times. To three different men who loved her until they realized that she could not give birth. She was approaching her 40s and despite visiting every specialist in town and even a witchdoctor or two, she had still not managed to conceive. She badly wanted a child and yet time was not on her side.

That is when an interesting job offer came up. A woman who knew her love for children recommended her saying she loved children very much, more so because she deeply desired them but had never had any of her own.

There was this wealthy family in Muthaiga, Nairobi where the woman of the house had just died while giving birth. The child had survived but the family needed somebody to dedicate themselves to caring for the child through that very sensitive early stage. Money was not the problem. They just wanted somebody who was dedicated enough.

Stella accepted. She needed the money anyway and she was also certain that it was a job that she would do well. It was true that she really loved children.

Doctors at Nairobi hospital carefully briefed Stella for 2 days before she was allowed to take the child home to Muthaiga. They emphasized the fact that above everything else the child would need to be loved. Love was more important than food and Stella would have to give that child plenty of motherly love otherwise the chances of survival would be very slim. Stella was shocked but took the responsibility very seriously.

Indeed things seemed to go very well and the child grew healthy and normally despite the fact that his mother had died shortly after he was born. The family members were very happy with this development. Especially the first born boy at the home who was doing his Standard eight exams. The death of his mother had naturally affected him badly and the last thing he wanted was for his small brother to follow her to the grave.

Now it is a well known fact that young boys are over-sexed and can very easily get a woman pregnant. Any woman, that is and not just a fellow school companion who happens to be female.

It is not clear exactly when Stella started to get her bizarre idea but it was very soon a well known fact that she was sleeping with the 15 year old boy. Many who did not know her past history did not understand her chief motivation for doing what is in fact a criminal offence, seducing and sleeping with a minor. Neither did the young boy understand until years later why Stella used to scream at him to make her pregnant at the critical hour as he emptied himself inside her.

Of course word got back to the man of the house and he found himself in a very difficult position. He did not want to risk the toddler that his dear wife had left behind during child-birth. He was too scared to do anything despite his misgivings and so he allowed the affair to continue for over 2 years.

Surprisingly the boy ended up doing very well in his exams and qualified to go to an excellent national school. Stella’s idea never quite produced the results that she had hoped for and she never got pregnant. In fact she passed on without ever giving birth to the child she so desperately desired. The young boy who was left by the mother is today a senior bank executive in a Mombasa bank and is doing very well.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Sex Olympics: And The Men’s Gold Goes To...

We have already seen the fierce competition that went on in the previous post (yesterday) as we awarded bronze and silver medals in the men’s event of the sex Olympics (Kenyan edition). Indeed many readers were puzzled because it would seem that all the top contenders were featured. So surely who else was left to take the gold?

Today we conclude this event by awarding the coveted gold medal to the champion. The community that beats all others hands down. My final results here are based on exhaustive interviews and consultations with those who should know.

I hereby award the gold medal to Ugandan men.

My, oh my. These men have no competition to speak of as far as the gold medal is concerned. They are well aware of the fact that sex does not start between the sheets. I need to emphasize the fact that this is exactly what Kenyan men seem to think and that is why they fall short.

A Ugandan man firstly knows how to treat a woman long before any sex happens. And that starts with a lot of respect. However this does not mean that they are “Yes men.” Far from it. These guys can be pretty firm and even stubborn about certain aspects. But never in a bad way or in a way that undermines their women. No way!

Not to forget the fact that unlike Kenyan men Ugandans know what a candle lit dinner really is and accordingly they put this important event in its’ proper place and treat it like foreplay to the action. That is exactly what it should be.

Come to think of it these guys dive into foreplay the minute they are interested and they do it without touching you or being offensive. They use words, looks, gestures and so on. By the time the action moves between the sheets a woman is more than ready. And then they will move to other things like kissing and touching and generally doing things that will drive any woman crazy.

Indeed the Ugandans take gold without tying with anybody as we have seen happening with the silver and bronze medals in the previous post.

Congratulations guys, you really do deserve it.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Sex Olympics: The men’s event

Yesterday (the previous post) we dealt with the lady’s event where the Kamba lasses easily took gold with little resistance from any other competitors. The judges’ decision was wildly cheered by the audience and as you can see from the comments, nobody is disputing them.

However the men’s event is bound to kick up much more controversy, especially in terms of who takes gold. Although the judge’s decision is final and no appeals will be entertained whatsoever, as always I will welcome your views na roho safi.

Luo men seem to understand women pretty well. They also know how to dress, no doubt about that and as you know a woman begins to fall in love with what she sees first. Little wonder that most Luo men have no problem attracting a long string of girl friends. However when serious business starts, they tend to fall short. I think the main problem is that they seem to be still trying to put on a show. Bedroom matters have little room for pretence or showing off which just spoils everything.

For this reason, they do not even qualify for the medal bracket.

Mention Luhya men to some women and their temperatures start to immediately rise considerably. Can you blame the ladies? I don’t think so. These guys are well-built, well endowed and have the stamina of two bulls or more. And since the event we are talking about here is usually a very physical one that will tend to last much, much, longer than the time it takes to run the 3000 metres steeplechase (both in a disastrously slow time or in record time), these qualities serve the Luhya well.

Still they will not carry away the bronze just like that. There are Coast men breathing down their necks. For your information Coastarians have a worldwide reputation now in sex athletics. Just stop any old German woman in the streets of Berlin or Stuttgart and ask her about them. Or look for any old but rich Italian woman with most of her teeth gone in Milan or any other Italian city and she will roll her eyes upwards when you remind them of the Coast boys in Kenya. Chances are that she will even kiss her fingers loudly to express her opinion (if you can’t speak good Italian). In fact many of them will already have one of those for their personal use at home. These guys are the real unsung heroes of Kenyans remarkable tourism industry. Officially they don’t exist but the truth is that tourists flock into Kenya for a different kind of wild game than what is claimed by the Ministry of tourism.

Folks the race here is too close and too tight to call and I am forced to award the bronze medal to both Luhya and Coast men. Congratulations to both.

The race for silver is ever closer and it is between Kamba men and the Masai. Sex for the Kamba has been a serious sport for centuries. Just listen to their music and watch the way they dance to it. Have you ever heard of a slow Kamba song? Get the drift? When a Kamba man falls in love with a Kamba woman, the bed springs will suffer vibaya (these guys prefer to use the old small and narrow spring safari beds for the event, I am not sure why, but the reason could be that wood tends to break if excessive sustained pressure is applied or is it to make music with the springs at the same time?) But even more amazing is that it is said that in another of their many variations, A Kamba man can also carry out a conversation with his Kamba woman even as sex is going on and if you were in the next room you would never think that there is anything more than an ordinary tete-a-tete happening, assuming that a spring bed is not in use in this case.

Many Kenyan women are yet to discover the Maasai. Maybe it is because they don’t smell too nice. But European and American women already know what Masai men can do apart from killing lions with only a spear. These women have discovered another Masai spear that literally kills powerful mzungu women. There was this Swiss woman who came into the country as a tourist having already been advised to look for a Masai to cool down her fires. She met one and after “sampling” the illiterate man who drunk too much and had never used deodorant in his life, her next actions astounded everybody. She dumped her fellow mzungu boyfriend and went back home and sold her prosperous business and came back to Kenya to live with the guy in the village in some manyatta. She just went crazy for him. By the way the guy was already married to another Masai and had to dump her for the mzungu. They gave birth to a daughter together. They are now divorced and the woman is a best-selling author writing books that sing the praises of Masai men and selling them to sexually-starved mzungu women.

Or consider the case of this mzungu who lives with her Masai husband somewhere in Nanyuki. They have been married for a number of years now but on most days the woman comes out in the morning to wait for her husband to come off duty (I am NOT kidding). She just can’t wait to be under his body and at the mercy of his marvelous tool. You see the Masai secret has something to do with the way they are circumcised. Plenty of flesh is left hanging on one side and this has the effect of enhancing friction and contact with a woman’s clitoris. The result is sophisticated European women losing their minds to the extent where they stop thinking straight.

Silver is another tie between the Kamba and the Masai. I award silver to both.

To be continued Tomorrow: The nagging question is after this quality fierce competition of today, who the hell will take the men’s gold in this event?

Read what others say about Masai men and mzungu women.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Sex Olympics: Who takes the gold?

The Olympic games are just around the corner and so it is rather appropriate to discuss another type of Olmpics. The one that happens between the sheets.

Today we will start with the sisters but tomorrow we will handle the men.

So who does gold really go to?

I have interviewed a few men who have been around to compile this report.

Luhya women, I am told are not really bad. Only that there is no such tribe as Luhya. In fact there are many different sub-tribes like the Bukusu, the Tachoni, the Maragoli and so on. And women from each of those communities have their plusses and minuses too. However the biggest problem with Luhya women as a whole is the fact that most are way too tough. They are no strangers to beating up men. This has caused great fear amongst many men and has to be a hindrance to activities of the waist.

Luo women are frequently drop-dead gorgeous. Whether brown or kiwi-black, my sources tell me that they have met many extremely beautiful Luo women. Interestingly they all agree that their biggest asset is usually the backside because it is no secret that the size of that enhances the kind of activities we are talking about in this article. What happens is that they play a key role in positioning the all-important point of entry. But still Luo girls do not quite qualify for any medals. The main complaint against them is that they do not do enough to enhance the quality of the experience. Either they are too quiet or withdrawn or when they do show excitement, they do not make the right noises at the right time.

The Bronze medal therefore goes to the Masai. The word that stands out from all those interviewed is “daring”. When a Masai woman gives themselves to a man, they do not do it in any half measures. And don’t forget that Masai women can be extremely beautiful and the kind that can make a man feel weak around the knees. So congratulations ladies you really do deserve a better medal but competition here is very fierce, better luck next time.

Silver without doubt has to go to chics from the Coast. One man assures me that he is always able to tell how skilled a girl from the Coast is between the sheets from the food that they cook for him before the action starts. The rule seems to be that if you tend to overeat on the table, then you can be sure that the same tendencies will recur between the sheets. Coastarians have many things going for them. For starters their hips never stay still but instead rotate all the time and move in different directions to enhance the angle of the penetration. The result is that a man leaves the experience very confused and very smitten and always eager to get back ASAP. Well done Coast girls.

Now there was no argument or discussion over who wins gold. The decision was unanimous. In fact it was interesting to observe how both men reacted when I asked them to name the gold medal women. They spoke almost in a whisper of awe and their minds seemed to drift back longingly in remembrance with their encounter with the girls popularly known as “wa kwitu”. One of them used just two very similar words to describe them; “blazing hot”, he said. There seems to be no doubt that these ladies are sex athletes par excellent. I am told that the Kamba woman test to be used to determine whether you are dealing with a fake commodity or the genuine original is as follows. If the woman has a child (virtually all Kamba women have children whether they are married or not, because men cannot get enough of them and therefore tend to overuse them even at the wrong time of the month) then this test can be carried out. During the act if the baby wakes and starts crying, all other women will stop what they were doing and rush to the baby. Not a kamba woman. Nothing will stop or distract her during the important activity. One man tells me that he was in such an encounter and the baby cried themselves hoarse. It was only after the shattering climax that the Kamba athelete came back to her senses and was shocked to realize that the baby had been crying for so long. That is how committed these wonderful ladies are. No arguments here folks the gold is well deserved. Na usiongee.

Two daring women and male inmates from Kenyan prisons

There are many different types of women as far as sex and sexual preferences are concerned. Sadly this is a very important point that most men just don’t seem to understand.

There are women who can comfortably have sex daily and then there are those who would be very uncomfortable with anything more frequent than once a month. In between these two extremes, there are those women who in over 20 years marriage have never asked their husbands for sex and then there are those who demand for it too frequently for the comfort of some men.

Then there are the women I am going to talk about in today’s post who can be classified as certified nymphomaniacs. In other words they do not get enough and therefore go to extremes in an effort to satisfy their excessively large “appetite”.

Luckily the two women, Milkah and Rebecca are in business and therefore they have the resources to accomplish their evil and bizarre mission fairly successfully.

I have confirmed from my sources that as recently as 5 years ago, they were still operating and doing the crazy things you are about to read here. I have no idea if they are still at it as you read this, but that possibility cannot be ruled out because for most women age increases sexual drive rather than reducing it.

Milkah and Rebecca have a special interest in charity work for prisons with special focus on the inmates rather than the prison wardens. On the surface they appear to be very concerned Kenyans taking care of those who have fallen into some rotten luck in this life and ended up in prison. In this way they get all sorts of information about the inmates, including what they get up to in the dark cells. Contrary to what some people believe, not all prisoners get involved in homosexual relations when they are incarcerated.

Naturally because of how close they are to the prison service (their charity work covers men’s prisons only) Milkah and Rebecca get to know exactly when which prisoners will be released. They will then personally come to fetch those prisoners on the day that they are released. An offer is then made to the ex-jail birds that they cannot refuse.

They are then rushed off for a through medical check-up after which they are taken to a certain house somewhere off the Nairobi/Mombasa road with some very serious security and which cannot be accessed easly by somebody using pblic transport. They bath and change into clean clothes and then eat a meal fit for a king.

Once the medical results are released and Milkah and Rebecca confirm that all is well, they usually take a “business trip” for a week or so and leave instructions with their employees that they are not to be disturbed. They head straight to their house off the Nairobi/Mombasa highway.

Now one thing you need to know about men who have been jailed for many years without touching a woman, is that in the first few days of being released, they are usually insatiable. And this is exactly what Milkah and Rebecca crave for and take so much trouble to get on a regular basis. To the duo, men who have not been in jail do not satisfy them because they get exhausted far too quickly. And you see these two women want serious men and seem to have discovered that there is only one place to get such men.

After about a week or so of “services rendered,” the very exhausted but happy ex-jailbirds are usually released and sent home, most of them to their wives who will no doubt be surprised when the men show little interest in them even after years behind bars. However the jail birds are very well paid for their services according to the information I have.

Most Kenyans are terrified of criminals let alone even imagine having sex with them but until 5 years ago, Milkah and Rebecca had been running this racket for years.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Be Warned: What a mini-skirt or tight trouser really does to a typical man

Careful research has unearthed some fascinating information that should be of great use to many, especially ladies fond of showing off their nice legs occasionally by wearing a skirt that is challenged er… lengthwise. Or those who leave very little to the imagination of onlookers with the skin tight trousers they wear around they generous backsides.

We ladies know what seeing another sister wearing a mini-skirt or tight trousers does to us. If I can confess, I usually do a thorough analysis of them legs (and sometimes other physical attributes) at a split-second glance and will be able to tell you with a very thin margin of error which part of the country the woman comes from. Obviously with the kind of political challenges we are currently facing as a nation, it would be inappropriate for me to continue any further along those lines.

What most men do not know is that some older women succeed very well in diverting attention from other aging “assets” while getting the necessary attention from much younger men by exposing their thighs. I have seen men painfully collide with parking meters on the streets of Nairobi because they just couldn’t get their eyes off some rather aging but generously exposed thighs. Had they bothered to somehow force their eyes away from the thighs and just a little higher, they would have laughed at themselves. I once saw this nice sister whose face had a colour that does not have a name in English or any other language most probably caused by the excessive use of harmful skin lighteners during her earlier decades of existence. Her sagging breasts were so heavy on “the heavy cotton equipment” she had put on to hold them in place that there were visible bulges at the bottom of it. Obviously any full-blooded animal of the male species never saw any of those details because their eyes never left the thighs.

If you wear a mini skirt to work and notice that the men are going to the gents a little too frequently and then tend to take too long to come out, then be warned do not accept the piece of orange he offers you at lunch time and do not for any reason congratulate him during the day by shaking his right hand. Men are known to frequently forget to wash their hands and since this is a family site, if you cannot guess what frenzied activity his right hand was most probably involved with in the wash room I am afraid I am not able to spell it out here for you.

Ladies should be especially careful when they sit down in offices where the desks may allow other male members of staff to see things they should not be seeing in the office. So next time that elderly co-worker who has great grand children starts sweating in the office early in the morning, you can be sure that he is not coming down with anything. If anything he is going up with something completely different, if you know what I mean.

By the way, these days you cannot assume that fellow sisters will not also sweat like the poor old man. What is this world coming to?

Anyway in conclusion let me say that some sharp cooperate-type ladies have discovered great benefits in the office wearing these kind of outfits when seeking approval and authority to do various things in the office. The usually mean accountant who takes the whole day to release cash for some company errand will tend to act a lot faster and ask far less questions or no questions at all if one is “appropriately” dressed. Not to mention that difficult leave application you are seeking.

Hot stories from the past;

Why did Kenyan man dissapear in Tanzania? (Trust me you don't want to know)

Landlord evicts woman for too much noise during lovemaking

Crazy "game" of the rich that ended up in tragedy

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Why was schoolgirl suddenly desperate for marriage to tout?

The mystery that was never solved

Sally went to a school somewhere along the notorious Matatu route 9 in Nairobi—those are the vehicles that go through the expansive Eastleigh estate.

These matatus have for years, nay decades now, been known for loud music which attracts lots of youngsters into them. And that is exactly how Sally fell into a snare that was destined to leave a major scar in her life.

The first time that Oguttu (which is the name that we shall give to the tout, now deceased, to protect his real identity) made advances at Sally, she was quick to put him in his place. Boldly and without any fear she asked the tout if he thought in his wildest dreams that he had anything in common with her. Girls in the matatu giggled. The few older folks on it nodded their heads in approval at this brave school girl’s bold and noble actions.

Oguttu’s reaction according to eyewitnesses was a little strange and not what one would usually expect from the usually foul-mouthed touts. He just smiled and did not say another word.

Now according to what people say, what happened next was bizarre. It is said that one day Oguttu apologized and Sally accepted his apology and she seemed to have been touched by the apology and it was from that day that her attitude towards the matatu tout totally changed. Some speculate that he went to a witchdoctor and armed himself with deadly juju to ensnare Sally and to make her stop thinking straight.

Others say that it was the sex that drove the girl crazy because Ogutto “specialized” in young school girls and knew exactly what to do to them in bed that made them stop thinking straight.

It is difficult to pinpoint exactly what the causes of what unfolded after that was.

But the bottom line is that Sally who was only in third form then suddenly lost all interest in school and all she now greatly desired was to get hitched to the high school drop-out Matatu tout called Oguttu.

The man did not even have exceptional looks in fact if truth be told, he regularly gave bathing a miss altogether, sometimes for days on end. He was also known to be a serious womanizer who had a reputation for chasing anything in skirts and the younger the better. The man had even missed prison by whisker when he impregnated a 16 year old girl whose parents understood the law very well. The only reason that stopped them pressing charges against him for sleeping with a minor was the fact that they feared the publicity and were advised by a psychiatrist that it would have a very negative impact on the life of their daughter. They quietly organized an illegal abortion for their daughter and picked up the pieces from there.

So those who knew Ogottu well just looked at Sally and greatly sympathized with her. The girl was doomed.

She would leave the house in the morning and her parents would believe that she had gone to school. Instead she would go to the matatu stage and wait for Oguttu’s matatu to come. There was always a seat reserved for her right next to the driver at the front and after the morning rush hour ended at around 10 am Sally would leave with Ogutto for various activities which would have caused her parents to collapse and die had they been made privy of them then. The activities included passionate and very noisy lovemaking at some downtown hotel in Nairobi.

Sally was a clever girl and she never got pregnant having obtained some birth control pills very early in the relationship. So by the time her parents were discovering what was happening she had missed an entire term in school.

Sally’s dad worked in a Nairobi bank and her mother was a nurse at a well known children’s hospital and so most people called them rich. But what they really were was terribly busy. Too busy to notice any tell-tale signs that would have told them that all was not well with their daughter. Her sudden moodiness virtually all the time, her preference to lock herself in her room playing music late into the night. The fact that she stopped asking her dad to help her out with her homework when he got home late, many times after a few drinks. The “evidence” was all there. Her parents never saw it until it was way too late.

Everything was tried to end the relationship with no success. It started with a thorough beating that left Sally with marks and scars from the ‘deadly” end of her father’s belt. Then it moved to “bribery” at one point she was even promised marriage but with anybody else but that tout who hardly took a bath. What would their friends say? At one point an attempt was even made to bribe her with a car of her own to drive around. All she had to do to get it was end her affair with Oguttu. Then when all that did not work, somebody advised the parents to take their daughter to see a prominent psychiatrist. Apart from being terribly expensive, that did not work either. At the earliest opportunity Sally got she would just rush back into Oguttu’s arms.

Finally the parents appeared to have given up on the whole issue and seemed to have surrendered themselves to being the laughing stock of the entire neighborhood. But did they? The truth will probably never be known.

Barely a month later Sally finally came home for good. I am not one to speculate because the police file is still open on this murder mystery, although it is many years since this happened. But Oguttu left a bar one night and some people waylaid him and knifed him several times. He was dead by the time they found him. Knowing his lifestyle anybody would have murdered him.

Sally went back to school and is today a leading lawyer in town. She’s heading towards 50 and has two lovely children. But she never got married and those who know her say that she never stopped mourning Ogottu. One woman who knew her particularly well said that she was sure that what Sally had with the tout who rarely bathed, was true love.

Terribly deadly thing, this true love thing is.

Man does crazy thing in late night matatu

A man (who was not even drunk) greatly embarrassed commuters with his behavior in a late night matatu in a bizarre incident that has been talked about a lot by Nairobians for a long time now.

The matatu was headed to Kawangware from the city centre along the route popularly referred to as route 46.

Even more fascinating was the fact that the man was fairly well dressed in a suit (albeit without a tie). Still the 9:30 pm incident left just too many questions unanswered.

The man had stood next to a smartly dressed woman who was wearing a skirt that cleared her knees by several inches. However her top exposed a little of her brown breasts and it is believed that this is what may have triggered the problem. The man was almost at her side in the packed vehicle where in those days people used to be packed like sardines in a can.

Trouble started when the woman suddenly screamed as the matatu approached the Valley Arcade shopping centre. Everybody’s attention was immediately attracted to the woman who was close to the front of the vehicle but not everybody could see what the problem was. One of the touts who was at the door and fairly close to he woman, started laughing loudly and a few other women passengers close to the woman loudly started shouting at the man.

Shockingly the woman’s skirt was stained with fresh sperm. It is believed that the man somehow removed his “weapon of mass destruction” and started rubbing it against the skirt of the woman up to the point where he squirted his seed on the woman’s skirt. The immediate question that emerged was how the woman had not noticed any of this activity until the very last minute. One man in the matatu dared to suggest that she was fully aware of what was happening and may have been enjoying it but only got upset when he skirt was stained. He was dismissed by most of the women in the vehicle as insane and probably an accomplice to “the matatu rapist.”

Incidentally, one of the comments the victim was heard to make was what she would tell her husband when she got home.

There was excitement, shock, disbelief and even laughter in the route 46 matatu when word spread about what had actually happened.

The smartly dressed man just stood there saying nothing but looking very embarrassed. It was not immediately known whether he had a serious psychiatrist problem he was just sexually starved and could not contain himself.

This bizarre incident remains a deep mystery with just too many question unanswered. Can any reader help us shed more light on it?

Monday, July 7, 2008


Have you ever stumbled on people doing it?

The interesting thing is that it can be a fairly stressful rather than an entertaining experience. The usual reaction is one of shock and disbelief and many times disgust because the sexual act was never created for public consumption, despite what we see a lot of on the World Wide Web these days.

Human beings are really a fascinating study. Have you noticed how folks look in disgust at somebody found on a porn site in a cyber? And yet the very same people are notorious for visiting worse porn sites in private?

There was this very well known former managing director of a very famous parastatal with offices countrywide but the head office in some posh offices in the CBD. He had a personal secretary who was a Ugandan lady. She didn’t have the looks but she certainly had the body.

Something went terribly wrong one day and two staff members knocked on the MD’s door and thought that they heard somebody inside say “come in”. However when they burst in they realized that what they may have had was maybe; “I am coming”.

They stared and then quickly retreated shutting the door behind them and fleeing back to their offices, shocked beyond belief.

On the thick red carpet in the MD’s office was the burly MD mounted on his Ugandan personal secretary and in the throes of some very frenzied activity. Now you know the real reason why there is a shower and even bath tub in many CEO offices.

Things were never the same in that office after that because through the two witnesses that hot story spread like wildfire countrywide.

There was another case in Industrial Area, Nairobi, where this MD’s personal secretary came in unexpectedly on a Saturday afternoon (you know personal secretaries have the keys to everywhere. Now in this case the MD’s office was the type that has the top half of the partition wall as glass meaning that you can see right through it if you are in his secretary’s office. The poor girl saw her boss whom she used to fear a lot on the pure leather executive desk with some very white looking thighs (those of one of his “mzungu” editors wrapped around his very dark buttocks. Neither of them saw her and she fled giggling uncontrollably.

She had to leave her well-paying position soon after that because she developed a very serious problem. She found it very difficult to keep a straight face and not giggle whenever she was in a meeting with the MD after that fateful Saturday afternoon. This is because images of the big black buttocks moving back and forth always crept into her mind, sometimes right in the middle of dictation.

At one point the MD angrily and sarcastically pointed out during a serious full staff meeting that his secretary was always laughing these days at nothing in particular and she should share the joke that never seemed to end with other staff members. That comment almost made her choke because she did in fact share “the joke” with a few staff members and that is how the story ended up on this blog.

Had she not gotten another good job albeit in Kisumu, she could not have survived for long because that MD was always so serious and she would always contrast that seriousness to the events of that Saturday and it was impossible for her not to giggle.

By the way both the MD and his mzungu Editor were “happily married” at the time. The lady’s husband is now deceased.

There is another tale of a village chief who was found doing it by dozens of primary school children near a river. Under the great big chief was somebody’s wife with her legs flailing in the air in ecstasy. Apparently there was something about that chief and his skills with women, they just couldn’t resist him. This writer suspects that word may have spread about his skills (at taking women where they have never been before) and you know women are curious by nature.

This was a funny scene because primary school children being primary school children, they just stared since it took time for the chief and the married woman to realize that they had a huge audience. What must have attracted their attention were the loud giggles and the “aa-aa-aaaa” exclamations that young kids usually make when they see bad manners with their own eyes.

Of course nobody sacked the powerful chief and he continued with his official and “unofficial” duties in that village and was one day even stabbed by unknown persons at night as he was walking home (most probably a husband to one of the women in the village who had sampled the chief’s non-administrative skills). He recovered and promptly continued with his activities.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Hot Kamba lady drives nice quiet man nuts

What is it about Kamba women? Why is it that irrespective of how old or young they are, tribesmates of Charity Ngilu aka mama Rainbow are so blazing hot between the sheets?

That is one mystery that can probably cause endless debate here. But incase you are interested in tying the knot with a Mkamba lady, I have a word of caution for you at the end of my story today, so please stick around.

Scolastica was a woman who was impossible to resist. That is the reason why Robert’s fate was sealed the minute he first saw her at a party at Railways hall along Haile Selassie Avenue in Nairobi. She was a little tipsy and swinging her hips suggestively on the dance floor but dancing with nobody in particular.

Robert was drawn to her like a magnet and could not help himself despite his strong suspicions that she was a prostitute (mainly because of the screaming red lipstick she was wearing too much of). He danced next to her and joined the long list of men who were buying her drinks on that evening. But Robert was the most sober of the lot and definitely the most desperate.

He waited until she inevitably had to visit the ladies and followed her there. He kept vigil outside until she emerged.

“I wanted to talk to you,” Robert told her while blocking her path the minute she emerged.

“About what?” she asked, speaking her English in a heavy Kamba accent.

Robert asked her name which she readily volunteered. She then proceeded to deflect all the other personal questions he tried to ask her.

But his blood really started racing when she leaned on one foot and tilted her head slightly and then asked with an amused look on her face;

“What do you want?”

Looking into her smiling face and laughing eyes you could tell that she knew exactly what Robert wanted so badly. And what was more she seemed pleased that he should want what he wanted. Robert froze. Tongue tied and yet with so much desire in his body. He had never felt like this for a woman before.

“Just tell me what you want,” Scolastica asked him again, as if she was expecting him to confess there and then what he wanted so badly from her.

When she received no answer, she just walked past Robert brushing across his body and went back to the dance floor. As she went past, Robert could not help noticing her scent. It was a scent that he had never noticed in a woman outside a bedroom before. It was the unmistakable smell of sex. Was it from the sweat from the dance floor? Robert would never know.

The rest of the evening was sheer torture for Robert as he watched Scolastica swinging her hips on the dance floor and basically dancing with any man who came her way. Several times she moved closer and closer to a man gyrating her hips suggestively and moved too close only to retreat teasingly just before her body touched his. She left very little to the imagination of the onlookers. However he noticed something odd. Every time a slow number was played that required dance partners to hold each other close, Scolastica would flee the dance floor and disappear. At one point Robert spotted her complaining to the DJ who obliged and the minute the Long Lionel Ritchie song was over, he replaced it with the kind of disco tune the sexy girl wanted to swing her hips to the whole night.

Robert left the minute he saw Scolastica leaving.

“Do you want a lift home?” he asked her.

“Are you a rapist?” she asked and then shrieked in a laugh that was way too loud. That sent Robert’s pulse racing again.

“Where is your car?” she asked suddenly. Robert silently led her to where the Taxis were parked and they both got in as she directed them to an address somewhere in South C. The minute the taxi got there, Scolastica moved with lightening speed. She shoved a piece of paper into Roberts hand and fled from the car, calling over her head; “Call me.”

Robert was left gaping and angrily shoved the piece of paper into his pocket. His extravagance of taking a taxi had not paid off and he felt distressed. He asked the taxi to drive back to town but got off somewhere in the same estate to spend the night at a friend’s place so as to avoid paying the Taxi driver a cent more than was absolutely necessary.

But Robert could think of nothing else. In the morning he called the number from a telephone booth. It appeared to be an Industrial Area number but nobody was picking up the phone. It was Saturday after all.

On Monday as soon as he got to the office, he called the number again. A lady picked up the phone on the second ring;

“Atlas Industries, can I help you?”

He asked to speak to Scolastica and to his surprise he was told to call back after 2 hours which he did and was put through to the woman who could not leave his thoughts. She sounded pleased to hear from him and even thanked him for the ride home.

“Huh, that was nothing,” Robert lied.

Things moved pretty fast after that. She asked for the direction to his office and at 5 PM sharp she was at the office reception high up on one of the floors of the ICEA building along Kenyatta Avenue. She bluntly asked Robert to take her home. Robert shivered with excitement the whole way to his house in Jamuhuri estate. The minute they arrived and shut the front door behind them, they headed straight to the bedroom for the wildest sex Robert had ever experienced. Everything he had heard about Kamba women (and a lot more) was confirmed that day.

She never went home and lived with Robert for about 6 months. He discovered that she was jobless and previously stayed with her sister who worked for Atlas Industries and had answered the phone the day Robert called (there were no cell phones in those days.)

Robert did not understand for a long time why during moments of heightened passion she would tell him to make her pregnant. That sounded rather odd although it drove Robert crazy with desire. He found out towards the end that she had been divorced by the only man she had married because she was not able to conceive and that seemed to haunt her and disturb her a great deal.

Robert’s passionate come-we-stay affair with Scolastica ended when he discovered that she was cheating on him with another man… and tena in his house and on his bed. Details of how he discovered and what exactly happened are not really known. Robert has always told friends that the whole thing hurt him to deeply.

But now comes my warning. Virtually all the married Kamba women I know have been unfaithful to their husbands and some of them are serial adulteresses. In my view the reason for this is historical. It is an old Kamba belief that a woman must have at least one child out of wedlock so that incase a member of the family takes a Kithitu (a Kamba oath that wipes out the whole family if the person taking it is telling a lie in taking the oath or breaks it) then at least that one child (gotten from outside the family) will survive. I believe this is where the ancestral ghosts that haunt Kamba ladies to date came from and that is why they cannot do without sex outside their marriages.

A male friend once told me bluntly, if you are ready to share your wife with all your friends including your cousins and even your brothers, then marry a Kamba girl.

I am not being a tribalist, I am just reporting what I have seen and heard. What do you readers out there think?
Menstruation Odor Causes Marriage To Elude Woman

STRANGE THINGS Grown Men Do When Their Wives Say, "Not tonight sweetie"

Woman who loved 2 men at the same time depicts Kenya politics

Do Kenyan men fear women who love porn?

Real reasom married women have affairs

Friday, July 4, 2008

Woman pinches baby to avoid “marital duties at bedtime”

There is a rather nasty saying amongst a certain tribe in neighboring Tanzania that a girl who has accepted to be married has no option but to sleep without her panties.

The saying probably illustrates the one big problem most married couples have had right down the centuries. Chances are that if you are married and are reading this, you will be able to immediately identify with what I am trying to drive at in this article.

The truth is that sex is the pillar of any happy marriage, and so one needs to get very concerned when they hear stories like the one about the woman who used to violently pinch her sleeping child the minute her husband showed signs of demanding for sex during the night. The child would predictably scream loudly and she would quickly get up to attend to it and would have the perfect excuse not to have sex.

There are of course many other ingenious techniques that women use to avoid sex apart from the old one of pleading a headache. Here are a few more;

1. Pretend to get extremely busy in the kitchen at bed time in the hope that the man will fall asleep. Loud snores from the bedroom are the signal that the coast is clear to quietly sneak into bed safely.

2. Flash your mum on your cell phone just before you get into bed. She will call you right back and all you have to do is greet her loudly so that your husband knows it’s your mum you are talking to. Many men get put off sex the minute they hear their mother-in-law mentioned mostly because of the usually tense relationship the two have.

3. Start a discussion on money the minute you get into bed. Inevitably this usually ends up in a terrible row, making sex impossible.

4. Claim that one of your young children is too scared to sleep in their bedroom and then strategically place them between you and your husband in bed.

5. Pretend that your periods have come early. Most men don’t have a clue and neither do they remember dates so it is quite possible to “conveniently” have your “Ps” twice or even 3 times a month. If push gets to shove and he wants to see evidence go into the bathroom and cut your finger.

6. If you have been out drinking together fake a black out.

7. Carry some files home from the office and pretend that you have a deadline of the next day to complete some work. Sneak into bed when the coast is clear.

8. Tell him that you suspect that you are pregnant. In these hard times such news is enough to cool the most serious hard-on in most husbands. This technique is a sure winner with mere boyfriends.

DISCLAIMER: This writer does not guarantee that these ideas will always be an effective defense against horny husbands. Wives and girlfriends attempting to implement any idea in this article do so at their own risk and this writer and this site will take no responsibility for any dire consequences that may result.

But what exactly causes wives to behave in this manner? The answer is so simple that it will shock you. The problem is with the men, you see most Kenyan men do not know how to get affectionate with their women in a non-sexual way. This makes the whole sex thing very boring and monotonous for most women after the initial excitement wears off. Remember women were born to be loved NOT to be misused as some sex objects. Tell that to a man!!

Get FREE effective online advertising for 6 months.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Why did man fall in love with tough woman who beats up men for fun? Part 2

Read Part 1 of this tale

The romance between the tough Mama Bob and Jared is not very easy to understand.

Jared fell in love and was turned on by Mama Bob’s toughness. Many men who have not gone through such an experience may not understand that, let alone be able to identify with it.

The reason why women mostly live longer than men is because they talk about everything. While most men continue to carry excess baggage. This is the reason why those who were interested found out exactly what went on in privacy between the two love birds.

Make no mistake about it, Mama Bob was the violent type and this extended to the bedroom. But the fascinating thing about the violent encounters which the chic always won without much resistance was that they mostly ended in some very passionate lovemaking.

The truth is that in any fight Jared had really no chance against Mama Bob. In fact to avoid hurting him too much she would simply lift him up in the wall by the neck choking him and would then fling him across the room.

The first time they made love, the room resembled a war zone. Broken cups, sufurias all over the place mattress on the floor small safari bed upside down near the wall. They saw this at the end of it all as Mama Bob held Jared firmly in her iron-like grasp while both of them were sweating profusely from some very satisfying sex. They looked at each other and laughed.

What made matters worse was when Mama Bob got pregnant with Jared’s first child. Usually women are very touchy and easily provoked when they are pregnant. You can guess the extreme case of Mama Bob. Inevitably a neighbor rubbed her up the wrong way and the two were separated after Mama Bob had already done a lot of damage to the woman’s face. You see when the couple got married they moved to a house in Kangemi where nobody knew Mama Bob and what she was capable of.

As the two women were separated with half a dozen men using all their strength to hold Mama Bob, she angrily told the other woman;

“Don’t cross me ever again, especially at this time when I do not know what I am carrying.”

The other woman replied in anger:

“We shall all see what it is that you are carrying.”

Sadly those words proved to be deadly and Mama Bob gave birth to a cripple. Don’t ask me how that happened. Your guess is as good as mine.

But that encounter changed Mama Bob forever. She cooled down considerably and attributed her child being a cripple to her anger. For the first time she was able to see every day and every minute the consequences of not controlling her bad temper. Those who knew her from Jericho were shocked when they came to visit. Many of them assumed that it was marriage that had changed her, not knowing that it was her giving birth to a cripple child that had changed her so much.

But she was still able to deal with her husband once in a while when he crossed the line. One day Jared came home very drunk and she opened the door for him and marched back to bed furious with him because he had not left any money for food that morning. It was a big effort not to fling him across the room there and then.

When Jared joined her in bed he started asking for his conjugal right. Obviously the last thing on Mama Bob’s mind at that point was lovemaking. So Jared suddenly found himself very high on the wall and the next thing he knew is that he had been flung across their tiny bedroom. He hit the wall on the other side and knocked his head rather badly, starting to bleed from a deep cut on the side of the face.

At the site of the blood Mama Bob deeply regretted what she had just done memories of her cripple child flooding back and rushed to his side. She tore an old white shirt and bandaged his head with it after cleaning the wound with salt. She then lifted him and placed him on their bed. The next thing she did surprised but pleased Jared considerably. She undressed and joined him in bed for some very passionate lovemaking where she vigorously did most of the work from the top like she was the man (jijazie). Jared loved it of course and the story neighbours got the next day was that he had been mugged on his way home the previous night. Most were forced to believe the story because the two lovebirds did not behave at all like people who had been fighting the previous night.

Jared and Mama Bob are still happily together and ended up having 6 children. Mama Bob is now beyond child-bearing age. These days she is a serious prayerful church woman.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Why did man fall in love with tough woman who beats up men for fun?

There is a Swahili saying; tembea uone mengi which roughly translated means that you should walk around and you will see wonders.

How true!! Indeed there are some characters that are so crazily unbelievable in this world that they may sound like something from some badly written, unbelievable fiction.

Like Mama Bob from Jericho in Nairobi’s sprawling Eastlands. She’s an expert in martial arts and although she’s now happily married, if you ask around from the older folks they will remember the chic who had a reputation for beating up men very badly.

Now it is important that you realize one very important fact here. There are hardly any sissies in Eastlands, especially in Jericho. In other words Mama Bob used to beat up very tough men. She was heavily built and had a voice that was a little too deep for a girl. Not to mention the fact that she smoked bhang like supplies were soon to run out for good. Although she hails from a place in Western Kenya where women are known to be very tough, Mama Bob was extreme.

Jared was a handsome political activist. A really courageous guy because he was a political activist in the days when such people would get killed like flies and nobody would dare raise a finger. But Jared was also tall and rather thin. In other words, no match for Mama Bob.

One of the creative ways in which Mama Bob used to earn money in those days was by providing security for Changaa dens in Jericho. She was in very high demand amongst the women brewing the illicit brew because no man would dare dream of not paying when Mama Bob was in charge of security. She would sit at the door smoking her bhang openly and with that tough look on her face. Even the cops feared her and would think twice before raiding a changaa den where she was.

This is how Jared met her and for him it was love at first site.

Nobody had dared to try and seduce Mama Bob. How did you even start? But it seems that Jared was born to play with fire and he did not seem to get enough out of provoking the one-party Moi regime he had to go and provoke a woman who had put several men in hospital.

“I have fallen in love with you.” Jared is said to have suddenly told Mama Bob in the crowded Changaa den. The room fell silent and you could have heard a pin drop. Mama Bob stared with her blood-shot eyes at this lanky man. She did not move from her stool at the door, but that did not fool anybody. Those who knew her, knew that she was capable of getting across the room in a split second.

“I am going to marry you.” Jared repeated looking straight into Mama Bob’s eyes.

Some clients hurriedly got up and retreated to a safe distance.

Mama Bob got up slowly and walked towards Jared who remained seated. She stood looking down at him menacingly.

“I want you right now.” Jared said. There was a giggle from somewhere in the room, according to various versions of this story, some of them extremely exaggerated.

“What have you put in the changaa today Mama Omondi?” Mama Bob asked her eyes still staring menacingly at Jared. Jared stood up and looked straight into her eyes. Mama Bob’s huge hand shot out grabbed Jared neck’s and pinned him high on the wall so that his feet were hanging in the air. He was choking, but he still managed to say one more, “I love you.”

Mama Bob then tossed Jared across the room like he was some cheap doll. He hit the wall on the other side falling on a stool full of glasses and smashing them.

He got up brushing the dust from his dark suit. People begged him to leave and he silently did so.

The next thing people saw was Mama Bob with Jared talking and laughing together a few days later. This was one romance that puzzled many and was talked about in Jericho for years.

In fact about a year later, Jared was forced to leave Mama Bob and flee to Tanzania with another very prominent Kenyan politician and they lived their in exile for a number of years. Still Jared kept the promise he had made to Mama Bob. He had told her that when he came back he would marry her. And that is exactly what he did. They are still married and apart from Bob, the couple now have 5 children together.

But before I sign off for today let me try and explain how this unlikely romance could have happened. To date no man has ever dared to tell Mama Bob that he loves her. The only man in history to have done that is Jared. As tough as she was she was still a woman and had a soft side and what Jared told her that day touched her. She had been known to beat up men very badly but that day all that happened to Jared was that he was flung across the room. Those who knew Mama Bob would have told you right away that he got off very lightly.

Jared on the other hand seemed to have been extremely turned on by the toughness of the woman. He was so turned on that he could not think straight.

Read continuation about their bizarre love making habits. Don’t miss it

She murdered to be with her lover

Doctors certify that man is 6 months pregnant

Maid cooks Ugali for family with her own urine

Mystery of encounter at Christmas party

HIV-Aids has created havoc leaving many premature deaths on its wake.

The sad stories that can be told about the scourge are just too many.

Dorcas was an unhappy woman who was always unlucky with men. And to prove it she had a cute little daughter from one of her liaisons of the past gone sour. The man who sired the child had no interest whatsoever in even seeing her.

In many ways Dorcas was desperate and that could have been a contributing factor to a certain controversial event that I remember so well as if it was yesterday.

It was a Christmas party at a friend’s house and Dorcas even came with her daughter very smartly dressed in red complete with matching ribbons on her hair. The drinks flowed fast and furious and it seemed that something started happening between Dorcas and Hezron a young guy about 10 years her junior.

Romance, if you can call it that, usually happens pretty fast at parties. The next thing I knew is that I went into one of the bedrooms in the house where I had left my jacket and when I opened the door I was met with a site that caused me to quickly step back and bang the door shut. For a moment I could not believe what I had just seen. And why they didn’t shut the door, I just could not figure out. Maybe they were both too drunk to care.

What I had seen when I opened the door was Dorcas and Hezron “in action.” Dorcas had her legs spread out and Hezron was on top of her hammering away. There is a big difference between being told and seeing for yourself.

About a month later Dorcas met another man and shortly after that they got married.

But poor Dorcas started getting sick all the time and when she went to hospital she was told that she was HIV positive. She died a few months later and her husband followed her to the grave maybe a month later.

Now my eyes remained firmly fixed on Hezron waiting for the inevitable to happen. I was almost certain that something was going to happen because I know they had not used a condom that day at the Christmas party when I had seen with my own eyes what had happened.

Nothing happened to he guy. Hezron in fact got married about 3 years later and his wife gave birth to a bouncing baby boy who was in fact badly overweight.

As you read this Hezron has two children, is still happily married and has shown no signs of falling sick. I have never even seen him with a cold. It is now 20 years since that Christmas party.

It seems that the guy escaped with his life despite unprotected sex and every time I meet Hezron, I can’t help remembering what I saw in that bedroom such a long time ago. And I always walk away shaking my head. Some people are just born lucky I guess.

Hot stories from the past

Why prostitute hurriedly returned stolen cash

Mystery of Kenyan woman who got pregnant in remand cells

40 year old wets sofa