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Sunday, April 20, 2008

Adulterous Boss Stuck In Action

They say that a stolen moment is the sweetest. This could probably explain the behavior of Mary, a woman married to a Nairobi policeman. The couple lived in the police lines somewhere near Muthurwa in Nairobi.

Although her husband was a fairly junior police officer, Mary did not have much to complain about because the man earned a substantial amount of cash from bribes received on a daily basis when he was on duty. As a result she was very comfortable. But it seems she was not satisfied and wanted more.

It did not take long for word to trickle to her husband that his beloved wife was having an affair. But that was not the worst of the news. The clincher was the fact that she was having this affair with her husband’s boss or commanding officer. That one hurt her husband very much.

The heartless fellow officer who had told Mary’s husband everything gave all the details including how his boss would send him deliberately on overnight trips so that he could have his wife all to himself for the night. And to make matters worse, all the action would usually take place right on Mary’s marriage bed since the officer was also married.

Mary’s husband pretended to his wife that all was well and wanted to prove to himself that the information he had been given was correct. The problem was that opportunities for long trips were not that frequent. But he was patient and the day reached when yet another opportunity for a long trip out of town presented itself and once again Mary’s husband found himself on it.

There was a valuable cargo that needed to be transported all the way to Mombasa. Mary’s husband made his plans carefully and was ready when the day of the trip came. He saluted his boss and got into the unmarked police car that was to follow the trailer all the way to Mombasa.

But what his boss did not know is that he had talked to a fellow officer who was off duty to take over the trip at Salama on the way to Mombasa. When the trailer arrived there at about 9 pm, Mary’s husband switched places with his officer friend and took the first bus he could flag down, heading straight back to Nairobi.

He arrived back at his house at about 2 am in the night and used his own key to let himself in. The moment he entered the tiny house, he heard his bed creaking violently. There was no doubt as to what was going on there.

He restrained himself and approached the bed and then suddenly lit his powerful flash light. Sure enough (he could tell the shape of that head anywhere) his boss was on top of his wife on the bed.

He calmly left them there and fetched the kerosene lamp on the side of the bed and lit it (the house did not have any electricity).

His boss was shocked to see him but said nothing. But something even stranger had happened. The boss was still stuck in the position Mary’s husband had found him. He was still on top of the woman and she had legs spread. He struggled for many minutes trying to get out but for some strange reason could not.

It is said that the commanding officer begged Mary’s husband until morning to forgive him, but he was just silent and sat there in anger taunting him instead and asking him why he liked sending him on long trips so that he could sleep with his wife. Mary’s husband was still armed but he did not shoot or even threaten his boss in any way. Killing him it seems would have been too kind.

When morning came, Mary’s husband went out to call neighbors to come and witness what had happened in his house. The news spread like wild fire in the estate and people rushed to see with their own eyes what was happening. There was soon the sort of crowd outside his house that would be the envy of any political party.

There are unconfirmed reports that at some point somebody started charging people for a chance to view “the live show.” The commanding officer tried everything in his power to get out his compromising position but somehow could not.

Here there are two conflicting theories as to what exactly had happened. The most common theory amongst the neighborhood is that Mary’s husband had visited a powerful witchdoctor aho had given him “madawa” so that he could “lock in” whoever slept with his wife. But then Kenyans are a superstitious lot.

But those who do not believe in such mambo jumbo said that there was a medical explanation. Usually if a woman gets a big shock or very frightened during intercourse her vaginal muscles tighten and hold in whatever may be there at that moment. What makes matters worse is that this happening causes the woman to be even more shocked and therefore it can take many hours for her to relax and “release” the man.

Whichever of the two versions of what may have happened is true, you be the judge.

It is also not clear how the couple were separated. Some people say the commanding officer sent for a large sum of money which Mary’s husband finally accepted as “a fine” and he was able to “release them.”

Another version says that the two were separated in hospital.

But what I know is that an ambitious gutter press publisher who tried to cash in on this story was later arrested by the police and charged with publishing an alarming report. He was jailed for 9 months with no option of a fine. The livid commanding officer who had been so greatly embarrassed felt that somebody had to pay and his wrath landed on the gutter press publisher.

It is believed that Mary’s husband forgave his wife and they are still together.

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Taabu said...

Whatever the case KULA KWAKO na kama hauna chakula TAFUTA. Usinyemelee cha mwengine. Malipo ni hapa hapa.People may be juniour or poor but their EMOTIONAL possessions are the most priced. No wonder EUNUCHS live longer!

Wanjiku Unlimited said...

Me thinks Mary's case was medical. She gets the shock of her life at the most inappropriate time and her muscles lock. A muscle relaxant injection works in some cases.

Anonymous said...

Hallo Joan,
i am enjoying your site and indeed i can say that these are real life Kenyan stories.
How about starting a "dear Aunty Joan colum" where readers can post their problems and ask you for live advice and feedback which you can post
Otherwise joan, unaendelea na style nzuri sana

Joan said...

Thank you for your suggestion, Luke.

I like it so much that I will launch it in the next 2 days or so.

Please send me a question to start with. My email address is

Pleas keep reading Udaku Daily.

Anonymous said...

Hi Joan
i am glad you like my suggestion.
my question is on behalf of a friend of mine, lets call him "L" because he wants to remain anonymous
i will e-mail his/her question to you

Anonymous said...

hahahahahaha luke!! even me i have a question for you joan, from a friend of mine....lets call her 'M'