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Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Bedroom drama that was Mateso bila chuki

Mutiso met Fayne in a bar in Eastleigh with a very strange name. It was called Mateso Bila Chuki (Suffering without hatred). The weird thing is that the name of the bar describes the events of that evening perfectly.

It was one of those foursome dates, only that it happened very accidentally. John was meeting his girlfriend of many years, Naomi and met his friend Mutiso as he was hurrying to the rendezvous. Naomi was accompanied by Fayne who was supposed to have a quick drink and be on her way after seeing Naomi’s guy. But as fate would have it Fayne and Mutiso took to each other and so both stayed for what turned out to be a very enjoyable evening.

The drinks kept on flowing and the night wore on. Mutiso and Fayne found each other very engrossing and they chatted away comfortably. None of them had a car and before long they realized that there was no way that they were going to get home. So they would have to spend the night at Naomi’s tiny single room nearby in the sprawling Eastleigh.

Mutiso and John had been friends for over 10 years. They were almost like brothers. Fayne and Naomi were very good friends too although they had known each other for only a year or so.

The four arrived at Naomi’s single room when all were fairly drunk from an evening none of them wanted to end. One of the men had brought along a bottle of whisky and they all decided to have a night cap. By the time they went to bed they were all fairly drunk. And that was the excuse that was used (by some of them) to explain away what happened next.

A small argument started by John (who was really drunk), ensued over the sleeping arrangements. Naomi had a tiny bed that could take only 2 and maybe 3 at the most. Then there was the couch. What ensued was a “friendly” fight over which couple would sleep on the bed. There was plenty of giggling from the girls so it is clear that nobody took the squabble seriously.

Mutiso’s argument was that the Luhya spirit should rule. Our brothers from the Luhya community are known to revere visitors so much so that a couple will leave their marital bed for visitors and sleep on the couch or on the floor (and Luhya visitors usually stay for a minimum of 2 weeks). Naomi was of the view that the girls should share her bed and since men were tough and women were the weaker sex, they should sleep on the couch and floor and wherever. To emphasize her point she called Naomi who promptly got into bed with her clothes still on.

John insisted that he was the man of the house and definitely not Luhya and so there was no way he was going to sleep anywhere else other than his “marital bed.” He too made his way there and fell heavily on the bed. Mutiso made his way to the couch, still complaining bitterly that he was too tall to sleep on the couch and would therefore sit up until morning.

Naomi switched off the lights and made her way to her bed (or so everybody thought) which could take three people as long as one person slept facing the other way.

Sometime during the night, John who was extremely drunk called out to Naomi several times asking her to come to bed.

The answer came from Naomi who breathlessly answered from the direction of the couch several times; “I am coming , I am coming. Oooohh I am coming,” She whispered.

“Okay hurry up, nimekusubiri sana” John said in a voice that clearly told you he was extremely drunk and had no idea what was going on.

What John did not realize was that Naomi was on the couch having sex with Mutiso and she was on the verge of a shattering climax when she cried out the words that John so innocently retorted to.

Naomi left John for Mutiso after that night’s events. John and Mutiso are still bitter enemies and not many people know exactly why. Even though this incident happened almost 23 years ago. John and Mutiso are both married now to other people and “hot” Naomi is still a freelancer although she has one daughter who was about 2 years old on that fateful night. Fayne too is married and although she’s doing well working as a middle level manager at this NGO, she has a passion for writing and so you can guess the source of the “leak” that has made this story public today.


Mcheku said...

Very nice! I love the story.

I know someone who told me once about a bar in Eastleigh called Mateso Bila Chuki, I thought they were joking! Kumbe iko!

Anonymous said...

Now that was a happening bar! Ah, the many nights of drama . . . every time one of those bars closes another memory of my misspent youth goes with it . . .

Anonymous said...

Have you ever heard of the saying "Kikulacho ki nguoni mwako"? Your own houseboy or blood brother whom you stay with will go for your wife. Or for ladies, your sister or the housegirl. But that was a nice one. I enjoyed it.


David said...

Someone is hard!