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Thursday, June 19, 2008

Super Size Men

We saw the unfortunate case of Nick here recently. The guy who is so small downstairs he’s afraid to even date women. That’s a very unfortunate predicament to be in and I don’t envy Nick or the women he happens to go out with if at all!

Now there’s the opposite side of the spectrum. Guys so big it’s a curse to them and the women they make love to. For these ones the worry is not that the woman will laugh at their size but that they will be scared away. We’re talking about jamaas so huge even when they’re flaccid they look like they have a little tail. Women are known to panic at the sight of them when they stand at attention. I’ve heard stories of some of them having to put a ring at a certain position so that when making love the guy cannot penetrate beyond there. But surely the fun of having sex sometimes is for the guy to plunge in all the way?!

For huge guys, sex is not a straight forward affair. They’re constantly wondering whether they’re hurting the woman. And by the way it’s also said that they usually don’t get rock hard and they cannot maintain an erecting for long. I’m sure most women would prefer rock hard and a considerable duration other than a huge guy who cannot deliver. And don’t even think of going oral on such a guy. He’ll leave your jaws aching for days on end.

Buying condoms is not as easy as it is for regular sized guys. These guys have to use extra large condoms which are not common in the shops. So no rushing to the nearby chemist for emergency condoms. The next time your girlfriend pops at your place for a surprise visit, you have to either do without or go to the nearest big supermarket for condoms. And they must be really really big because the regular condoms seem to stretch forever and yet they cant fit in them?! What a life!

Then there’s the issue of having an accidental hardon – like in the office or something. Ok it’s difficult to hide any hardon but for super size john it a whooooole lot more difficult. The phrase ‘a third leg’ takes a whole new meaning.

So the tiny guy is a no no and the huge one is an even bigger no. That means that all you average guys are luckier than you think.

12 comments:

David said...

Eh! Sijui niseme

Anonymous said...

kiki, i have been there!! i know wot you are talking about. and yes, its damn scarry.

Anonymous said...

David mbona hauna la kusema?

Kitteness said...

Details 2.22. Toboa. did you do it with him? how was it? did you try oral? did he hurt you? could he hold it long enough? was he stiff enough? plz plz plz details anon plllllllllllllz.

Anonymous said...

Why worry! There is someone for everyone. And they always fit. Otherwise who has died?

Kitteness said...

3.00 nobody has died but sex is supposed to be nice and sweet and comfy. Not a struggle. i'm I hurting you or am I in too deep am I a m I. mpaka condoms is a problem!!

Anonymous said...

And size does matter? Really??

Kitteness said...

Anon size matters. Average is just sawa. if you cant accommodate a guy in your mouth then whats the fun?

David said...

Kitteness na kiki wanatupaka mafuta........,if a small baby can pass through thea???, i thot that canal was ment 2 b kinda elastic 4 tha BIG brothers sake.

Kiki said...

During birth biology has it's own things it does to widen the place. but it can keep widening or opening up the pelvic bones every time somebody want to have sex. I've talked to a number of girlfriends. these hugies are no fun. Even anon 2.22 has been there.

Kiki said...

David sorry I meant it cant keep opening up the pelvic bones every tie someone want to have sex

Anonymous said...

heheheheh david wewe ni mjinga sana lakini thats a very legitimate Question niceeeee