Couples Midnight Row Over Delayed SMS

You know those dirty SMSs that do the rounds once in a while. They were very popular about 5 years back and Buya was an expert in forwarding them. Whenever they came his way he made sure he forwarded them to as many friends as possible, mostly ladies but also a few male friends. He found it awkward for a man to forward sexual messages to a fellow man even if they were just jokes but once in a while he did anyway.

One of the friends he usually sent them to was a lady named Lulu. And she always sent a dirty reply in return. Buya did this usually during the day far away from his wife. He never forwarded any to her so she had no idea he was doing that. Until one day Safaricom decided to get peculiar. Buya sent a message to Lulu at around 5.00pm when he was still in the office. She received it and replied immediately. By the way Buya and Lulu had nothing going on between them. They were just friends. He forgot all about the message immediately he left the office and it did not bother him that Lulu did not reply. He passed by his favourite watering hole and took a few sips with friends.

It was past midnight when he got home and his wife was not amused. Before she could rant enough about the late hour, a message came through to his phone. His wife grabbed the phone before he could read what message it was but he could see from the way she instantly went ballistic that it must be something big. It was Lulu’s message which had remained undelivered by Safaricom for over seven hours. She immediately called Lulu using her husband’s phone. Lulu on the other end thought it was Buya calling because after all the call came from his phone. Her boyfriend was away on a job assignment so she was free to pick the call despite the late hour. Thinking that he wanted to talk about the earlier joke, she picked the phone laughing jokingly and addressing him as Mkora.

She was completely unprepared for the flood of insults that rained on her ears. The lady on the other side was real mad and called her bad bad names. She accused her of sleeping with her husband and having the audacity to send him dirty messages in the middle of the night. She ranted for what seemed like a whole half hour although it was just about 5 minutes. She called her every name in the book. She could hear Buya in the background trying to calm down his wife. Lulu was shell shocked. She was not even aware that the message she had sent to him earlier had been delayed in transmission. She was in a panic and was unable to say anything. She disconnected the call and switched off her phone for the night but she had a hard time sleeping.

First thing the next morning when she switched on her phone she received an SMS this time from the wife’s real number. As far as she can remember, it went something like this: You are an imbecile and a dimwit. Scam of the earth with the brains of a chicken. You’ve been sleeping with my husband all this time and you still have the audacity to communicate with him even in the dead of night. May you die soonest before breaking other people’s homes. Foolish.

This is the Joke Buya had sent to Lulu: A Japanese lady went to Nairobi University and within no time slept with 100 men before they knew her real name. Then she disclosed her real name: Kanagawa Kumamoto.

Lulu had replied simply: And you’re one of the 100 men who’ve sampled Kumamoto.

That was the message that sparked this very bitter row between Buya and his wife. Only when she calmed down did he explain to her the situation. He even showed her the same message which he had sent to a few other friends who did not necessarily reply. Including male friends. She believed him.