Help - My Husband Is Unhygienic

Dear Auntie Joan,

My husband Mark and I have been married for the last 10 years and are blessed with three kids. I’m 35 Mark is 40.

In between and even after having my three babies, I hit the gym and over the years I have managed to attain my original figure. I’m very neat myself and even at home I wear very sexy decent clothes and never funny looking baggy clothes. I do not go to bed without brushing my teeth and taking a shower to make sure I’m very clean for him and for my own hygiene too. He knows I always get so turned on by him when he’s clean, fresh and wearing aftershave or cologne. I love kissing his freshly shaven face and it always makes me feel very sexy.

The problem is that over the years my husband has really let himself go. He has very unfit and developed a big tummy which makes him look old and unattractive. He has let his personal hygiene go to the dogs and things we used to do before like brushing before going to bed and just looking neat for each other he no longer does. Kwanza like now he’s on leave he spends all his time in the house. He wears some very funny looking shorts and oversize tee-shirts from yore. He does not automatically shave or brush his teeth in the morning when he wakes up like is the case when he’s going to the office. His hair is another nightmare all together. He leaves it uncombed for days and as a result, it has become untidy and coiled into tiny knots. He has also left his beard to grow bushy. In short he looks bushy and untidy and does not smell nice and fresh like I used to know and love him. It’s like since he’s not going to work then he cannot be bothered to look neat for me.

I tried hinting to him that these things are putting me off. He got so stung he did not speak to me for three days. Now he’s getting worse and I’m afraid to broach the subject again lest I annoy him. Please tell me what I can do because we’ve always had a good sex life which I feel is now suffering. I want my man back because I still love him despite all this.

Yours,

Concerned wife.

Dear concerned wife,

I can imagine your frustration and I sympathize. He may have had his ego stung the first time and over reacted but I’m sure he must have thought about it after initial anger had died down. By the way it also depends on how you approached him the first time. Maybe you two were in the middle of a different argument and you told him angrily that he had become sloppy and that you were no longer attracted to him? In that case he’d have reason to feel so bad.

Try talking to him again. I’m sure deep down he wants to look attractive to you just like in the past. If you make it clear that’s it’s affecting your life in the bedroom, he’ll most likely jump to attention. Some things like brushing teeth and combing his hair, only he can fix. As for the ugly shorts and tee shirts, go through his closet and remove all the items that you feel are frayed and oversize. Read his mood and see whether you can involve him in this exercise – it can also be fun you know. If you can afford it, buy him some nice shorts and tees to wear around the house. I doubt he’ll complain about frayed old tees if he finds some new fresh ones in his drawer.

If he does not like to go to the gym, schedule some work outs together at home to start him off. Eventually he’ll want to do more and you’ll be surprised he’ll voluntarily go to the gym and work out some of that belly fat. Wish you all the best.

Auntie Joan.