Caught!

Have you ever stumbled on people doing it?

The interesting thing is that it can be a fairly stressful rather than an entertaining experience. The usual reaction is one of shock and disbelief and many times disgust because the sexual act was never created for public consumption, despite what we see a lot of on the World Wide Web these days.

Human beings are really a fascinating study. Have you noticed how folks look in disgust at somebody found on a porn site in a cyber? And yet the very same people are notorious for visiting worse porn sites in private?

There was this very well known former managing director of a very famous parastatal with offices countrywide but the head office in some posh offices in the CBD. He had a personal secretary who was a Ugandan lady. She didn’t have the looks but she certainly had the body.

Something went terribly wrong one day and two staff members knocked on the MD’s door and thought that they heard somebody inside say “come in”. However when they burst in they realized that what they may have had was maybe; “I am coming”.

They stared and then quickly retreated shutting the door behind them and fleeing back to their offices, shocked beyond belief.

On the thick red carpet in the MD’s office was the burly MD mounted on his Ugandan personal secretary and in the throes of some very frenzied activity. Now you know the real reason why there is a shower and even bath tub in many CEO offices.

Things were never the same in that office after that because through the two witnesses that hot story spread like wildfire countrywide.

There was another case in Industrial Area, Nairobi, where this MD’s personal secretary came in unexpectedly on a Saturday afternoon (you know personal secretaries have the keys to everywhere. Now in this case the MD’s office was the type that has the top half of the partition wall as glass meaning that you can see right through it if you are in his secretary’s office. The poor girl saw her boss whom she used to fear a lot on the pure leather executive desk with some very white looking thighs (those of one of his “mzungu” editors wrapped around his very dark buttocks. Neither of them saw her and she fled giggling uncontrollably.

She had to leave her well-paying position soon after that because she developed a very serious problem. She found it very difficult to keep a straight face and not giggle whenever she was in a meeting with the MD after that fateful Saturday afternoon. This is because images of the big black buttocks moving back and forth always crept into her mind, sometimes right in the middle of dictation.

At one point the MD angrily and sarcastically pointed out during a serious full staff meeting that his secretary was always laughing these days at nothing in particular and she should share the joke that never seemed to end with other staff members. That comment almost made her choke because she did in fact share “the joke” with a few staff members and that is how the story ended up on this blog.

Had she not gotten another good job albeit in Kisumu, she could not have survived for long because that MD was always so serious and she would always contrast that seriousness to the events of that Saturday and it was impossible for her not to giggle.

By the way both the MD and his mzungu Editor were “happily married” at the time. The lady’s husband is now deceased.

There is another tale of a village chief who was found doing it by dozens of primary school children near a river. Under the great big chief was somebody’s wife with her legs flailing in the air in ecstasy. Apparently there was something about that chief and his skills with women, they just couldn’t resist him. This writer suspects that word may have spread about his skills (at taking women where they have never been before) and you know women are curious by nature.

This was a funny scene because primary school children being primary school children, they just stared since it took time for the chief and the married woman to realize that they had a huge audience. What must have attracted their attention were the loud giggles and the “aa-aa-aaaa” exclamations that young kids usually make when they see bad manners with their own eyes.

Of course nobody sacked the powerful chief and he continued with his official and “unofficial” duties in that village and was one day even stabbed by unknown persons at night as he was walking home (most probably a husband to one of the women in the village who had sampled the chief’s non-administrative skills). He recovered and promptly continued with his activities.